2009 Special Masters season wrap up

Well the season is over (short as it was) but we all enjoyed the banter and camaraderie, and at leats felt the hockey was on a reasonably level playing field, although we always seemed to play uphgill into the wind, rain and sun!
While we didn’t record a win and were hampered by ever changing teams, however we played some good hockey, enjoyed ourselves and proved our old bodies can still get around the turf.
Thanks to all that came, played, commented and had fun.
The summary of results is below, Well done to Glen overall MVP and Scotty for topping the goal scoring!

MVP
8 Glen
7 Pete S
5 Marx
4 Mike
2 Ants
2 Scotty
1 Adrian

Goals
6 Scotty
2 Wayne (Trapper)
1 Ants
1 Marx
1 Brent
1 Mike S

Results
Wed 11th - 3rd, 4th, 5th play off in round robin
Wed 4th V Victoria Gents Lost 6-2
Wed 28th V Harbour City Chargers Lost 6-4
Wed 7th V Northern Knackered Bulls - Lost 8 – 3
Wed 13th oct V Northern Bully Goats Lost 3-2

match report - last week round robin 3rd, 4th and 5th.

As our high profile and very able blogster (and awesome right winger) was absent sunning himself in Sydney, it was up to others in the team to put forward intelliegent and unbiased (yeah right) journalism so that this blog could be written.

I received the following reports and nominations for MVP.

Ants could well come off the bench as back up blogster next year, as he provided some good promise is accurately recording events as they happened-
Before the game started Ash had a big feed off the bbq helping him to cover more of the field without moving lol
Rob and Scott maned the bbq in the first 20 while we waited to play, I think it was because the womens teams had just finished and were looking for a feed how disappointed they would have been lol

We played vic in the first game drew nil all both teams had there chances but with them having a goalie it didnt make it any easier but as a team we put it together very will our fill in goalie was everywhere in the circle look out who was ever got his way .

The second game we played northern lost 2 - 1 it was tight, alot of great passing with Marx scoring our goal with two min to go, i think the team played very will and enjoyed it would like to keep this up for nexy year

I have recieved nominations for MVP points for the following:
Pete - Nominated By Melanie, reasoning (qand completely unbiased)- My Darling Peter of course… he did an awesome wind up - ran ¾ field then fed the ball into the circle for another ‘Old Fart’ to score - putting them on the table.
Ants - by himself, well nobody else would!

So (Drum Roll here)............Can i have the envelope please.............
the winner is
3 - Pete - lets be honest, anyone that brings along a supporter as pretty as Mel every week has to get some mention
2 - Ants - for stepping up to the plate when trapper was away (plus i hoping he'll look after me with some free paint)
1 - Marx - scored a goal, got to be worth something.

So, the 2009 Old Farts Masters MVP is Glen on 8 points, Pete a close second on 7. Since Glen is away overseas ill drink the bottle of wine he gets as a prize.

Scotty picks up goal scorer of the season with 5.

Well done all, thanks to the imports from Petone for their support and adding to the team spirit.

Don't forget Wgtn Team masters trials are coming up.

Sidleine match report

Guys, fresh for this week is a new feature to trial. We ahve a roving sideline reporter and her first report. this is honest to goodness exactky as she has written.........(as you can tell, its all in her hand writing)

Wayne,

Peter forwards me the weekly update  - thank you. Have to say, the blog has been brilliantly put together – well done!

First half for your team last night was pretty good. I was VERY impressed with TRAPPER HE PLAYED AN OUTSTANDING GAME, the stamina and speed of the old legs that had to cover more ground than usual. Think the cataracts played a part in the trapping though .

Had to go at half time for my own game. Pleasing to say, we won 5-1 (of which I scored 4 goals….thanks to great team support).

I look forward to reading the final report.

Cheers,
Mel.
-------------
As mel seems to be a rampant scorer, and i would gather would look a lot better than Pete in one of our designer tops, I suggested that maybe she would like to turn out for the forwards instead of me next week!

Match report Wed 4th Nov V Victoria Gents lost 6 - 2

While it was my intention to wax lyrical about the abilities and skills displayed, and the outstanding effort and dominance that the forwards maintained last night, the reality was that we were sadly out numbered with only 3 forwards (we only fielded 9 players) and one of those included Trapper who had a surprisingly rare off day in not being able to trap anything!

Having said that Ants (Chicken legs rides again) and Scotty did play their hearts out and both managed to score, Pete, Adrian, Ross and Marx all had runs up to the front in the second half, with Pete in particular coming very close to scoring. Scotty was somewhat hampered by wearing a shirt that felt overly long to him, he actually could tuck this one in!

Trapper did manage to get back in defence and save a certain goal by a great tackle 5 metres from the line as the player was about to rocket the ball into the net.

It was going to be hard from the start, as while we had a goalie and 8 field players, they had no goalie, but 11 players, which gave them the ability to push players up, and to swamp our attacks before we got into their circle.

We did have chances, and some pressure in both halves, however it has to be said the bulk of the activity (but by no means all) was in our defensive area, with some outstanding displays of commitment from Marx who i though deserved our player of the day (they nominated someone else, not certain who (Glen i believe) and Pete as well.

One good note although it was hard for us to adjust was that we had two good umpires who let play flow and didn’t pull up every ball more than 6 inches high (was going to say 15 cm, but it is masters after all and we all think in inches).

Overall, even withstanding only having 9 players it was a good game; we gave them a good run for their money and they admitted afterwards would have been an interesting game with a full team.

Goals
1 – Scotty
1 – Ants

MVP’s
3 – Glen , player of the day, saved a near goal with a “mr gadget” left arm out save form a PC, looked good in his goalie gear and stayed for a drink afterwards
2 – Marx committed work, diving and tackling
1 – Adrian – solid game, but more importantly showed plenty of courage, wearing a shirt that nearly came down to the top of his shorts

Special mention (but let’s face it, no MVP points so probably not worth much)
Pete – solid defence and looked good on attack
Trapper – doesn’t the lighting reflecting off his head create a lovely aura?
Mel – braved the weather to support us from the sideline

Match report Wed 28th V Harbour City Chargers lost 6-4

A bright and sunny weekend turned to a cold and rainy short week as the Farts prepared to take the field last night- star players Ash and Dave L were both unable to attend, Mikey rescheduled his entire family's night (what a guy) and Nuts played despite being sickly .
Fortunately the rain stayed away, and the track was hard and fast (as always!).
A late call up found the Farts only knowing about the fancy dress "p" theme the day before, needless to say we turned out in the familiar and badly misshapen green and white checks with a choice of themes:- poofs, pansies, plonkers etc. The shirts really do look like they have been lived in by a team of very wide but very short dwarfs, as the only difference in the sizing is width, from wide to extra wide.
Anyway, we took the field with a compliment of 11, and the first half was a mixture of attack from both sides.
The Farts tried to play the game at pace but most of us weren't up to the same speed as Mike, Scott and Ants. Half time saw us in the shed at 5-3 down, certainly a half with lots of action, 8 goals, and better yet not yellow cards.
Some cracking goals scored, although Marx one was a bit soft. Trapper had a shot at goal that rocketed (well if you were a snail it was real fast) under the gaolie and Marx barely touched it as it sailed over the goal line to claim the goal! (yeah right - truth be know, Trappers shot was so weak it was about to stop and have a breather having already travelled three feet and Marx had to finish it off!)
Scotty and Mike both found the back of the net with thumping drives shots, strangely Trapper had an "assist' for both these goals as well (maybe he should get MVP's?), but in both these cases they were genuine passes (maybe that’s a skill he should teach Ants?)
Scotty’s goal was a particularly veritable pearler of strategic thought and effort. He was about to hit off (as Harbour had scored again) when the call from the ever vigilant and thinking RW was to do a "Lewin". Scotty took a self tap, dribbled past a couple of players, quick flick out to the RW, who then beat the rest of the team with pace and skill (yeah right) and passed back to Scotty in the circle to hammer home.
So the Farts have a new saying, doing a "Lewin"! Thanks Dave L, although you weren't there you still had an assist with a goal!
In the second half it was much more even; we ended the half with a draw, 1-1. Brent scored a cracker, had a lot more ball and made good use of it. The Farts looked better overall with more pressure, but couldn't convert.
So the Farts ended their 3rd game again winless, but able to hold their heads up high (those that had energy!)
Goal Scorers 1 each Scotty, Mike, Marx, Brent

MVP
3 - Mike (player of the day) - great efforts, encouraging, good team talk at half time, looked good in the shirt, nice hair style (he did score a gaol and play ok as well!)
2 - Peter S - final tally is 2 MVP points, but the equation is 3 points for Pharaoh costume (only player that wore fancy dress) - 2 points for taking off his shirt at the after match function and scaring children, small animals etc, plus 1 for efforts on the field - total 2 pts.
1- Scotty - gets a point for playing whole game (on the field!) (Again, yes, he did score a goal and played well but that’s a boring reason to give MVPs)

Training session

As we had a bye this week a training run was scheduled for last night to ensure that we maintained the peak physical fitness we had all attained.

Whilst only a small turn out attended, its was the "bulk" of the side, with Glen, Ash, Nuts and Wayne in attendance.

The was quite a lot of discussion around startegy's (Nuts plan for exercise this weekend while away in motel with girl friend and her son!)and utilising angles (Ash's story about the women in the car), while there was plenty of weights training for upper body strength .

A good time was had by all.

Games have been posted and our next two wednesdays at 6.00pm.  We will get a fifth if we finish in the top 4 (out of 5) so its really in our hands so to speak.

Match report - Wed 13th oct V Northern Bully Goats

Apparantly hockey was invented in the middle ages.
A bunch of Knights travelled to a tournament somewhere in England (Land of hope and glory, mother to us all......) and shortly after they got there all their horses mysteriously died.  They traced it back to an itinerent knight, who was struggling to win, and therefore spiked the horses drinking water with poison.
The knights were furious (as you would be), and had the dastardly sinner beheaded (after of course being hung drawn etc, while spoil an opportunity for some good "clean" fun).

Now apparantly, his head rolled off the chopping block and across the ground, and some of the disgruntled knights swung at it with his jousting stick, a melle then took place, with all the knights thrying deperately to hit the head, and each other, and thus the game of hockey was born.

Some say the Old Farts play a game that carries on the true traditions and spirit of the original inventors?

Certainly based on last nights game, the same spirit is there, and the desire to win.

The Farts took the field hopeful  in the first half and 2 goals by Scotty had them 2 -0 up in the shed at half time.  They won the second half 2-0  as well, unfortuntely though in yellow cards and  in the process allowing the Bully Goats to score three goals, and a couple of soft ones at that.

The final score of 3-2 didn't do justice though, as we had a lot more pressure in the first half, and a certain goal dissalowed in the second half.

However a 3-2 loss is the way the score book will read for the rest of history.

Glen got player of the day and deserved it.

Pete S snuck onto the field during the first half, but quickly made up for it with some great defence and desereved 2 MVP's.

Its good to have Mikey back in a Farts jersey, although after a time in P2 he wsn't quite up to the speed and fitness required for Old Farts hockey, but he did enough to get 1 MVP with some great attacking play and a nice "between the legs not looking behind me" pass to scotty at the line!

Special mention to Nuts, Scotty and Marx for big efforts as well.

Again, a "big up" to the cheerleaders, unfortunetly this week was too cold and wet for them to try the special uniforms Nuts had designed (they were too small to provide any warmth or shelter from the rain) , but maybe in a couple of weeks Mel and Ains!

Masters team training run(s) - wednesday night

Due to the number of teams entered in the comp being uneven every team has a bye week. Next week is ours.

However, as we are wanting to peak for the finals in 4 weeks, and not want to lose the fitness edge that we have all gained, it has been suggested that next week we have a training run(s).

I’m away over the weekend, so given his experience and obvious skill set in physical fitness and peak conditioning, Glen has volunteered (Yeah Right!!) to organise it.

The suggestion is an Indian dinner somewhere in the Hutt (thus the run(s) !) on wednesday night.

Who’s in? Reply to Glen giving him numbers, he’ll advise booking/time etc!
And Ash, no its not my birthday so i won’t be shouting!

Masters match report Wed 7th V Northern Knackered Bulls Lost 8-3

here it is sports fans, the tournament that you hve all been holding your breath and waiting for, bigger than Tua V Cameron.......................the start of the 2009 Wellington Masters season!

With the last few days leading up to the kick off being wet, wet, cold and wet (even the mroning of the event was horizontal rain) it was somewhat of a surprise to run out onto a hard and fast NHS1 last night.
Although some of the Farts turned up early (ie more than 5 mins before the game), Nuts was dissapointed that there was no opening ceremony, march around the field etc, as he was the teams desinated flag bearer.

Anywaty, pre-game jitters were evident, players having a hit etc while nervously looking over at the opposition who were doing warm up runs and drills. Now this wasn't completely foriegn to the Farts, as most could remember back to the days of old when teams did warm up drills.  Glen calmly watched while having his last smoke before hit off.

The game started with huge emotional expectation, and it became evident very quickly that the Farts were the dominent team, wayne opebning the scoring, The bulls pulled it back but then Scotty scored (on his third shot after the gaolie had saved the first two!). The Farts were encouraged, things were going well, the game was evenly matched.

However then the Bulls other 2 players tuerned up, and suddenly with a full team they were a bit more of a handfull!

We did continue to provide pressure, although more from break outs than structured attack. there were a number of shots on goal saved and few close misses

Ash gave a stirring half time speech, none of the 'we will fight them on the beaches" stuff, more like back to basics, pass the ball etc.

The second half was more of the same, Paul H was their best player, and carved up our defence when he got the ball, he showed off all the skills he learnt at Naenae!.  we had our moments with a number of shots at goal in both halves that were unconverted.

Wayne swapped to the left wing in the second half (it was that or RH and Ash didn't want him anywhere near the circle!) and showed his flexibility by slotting the Farts last goal from that side.

So although the score was a bit one sided, we had our moments.  it was a good first up work out especially considering the Farts team that took the field is a combination of players from 2 clubs and a number of teams.

it was also good to see our two seasoned supporters there joined by another bringing the cheerleading squad to thre.  maybe we should get Robbie "Gok" McNie to design a costume for them.

Special mention to the WHA for the "after game", good to sit around a table and chat/have a few cold ones.

• Marx got player of the day, and deserved it, hes fit and strong and looks set at CH.
• Glen although let in 8, probably saved that number again, and showed lightning reflexs.
• Scotty was all over the place in attack, with good running and passing, and also directing traffice well.
• Ants (Chicken legs) played his normal running around "like a headless chicken" game, althouh his sojurn into the P2's seems to have dampened his speed and fitness, and trapping skills! having said that good pressure on attack
• Wayne - 2 good goals, some good support but room for improvement although trapping ewas better than normal
• Peter S - good solid committed game
• Ash - solid in defence, he made his prescence felt and povided good wisdom and a wise head on the field

MVP's
3 - Marx - well deserved player of the day
2 - Glen saved more than let in (thank god for that!)
1 - Scotty - tireless worker

Goals
2 - Wayne - just in the right place at the right time
1 - Scotty (and could easily have been more)

Anyone for a dance............................(masters season about to start)

Hi Guys, the time is near!

Got an email from the WHA today, the special masters season is all go, starts next Wednesday and we have games next Wednesday and the one after at 6.00 pm NSH1. there are only 5 men's teams, so each team will have a bye at some stage.
read the WHA stuff in the next blog, especially the social stuff, well done to the assn.

Our draw for first three weeks:
Wed 7th oct 6.00Pm V Northern Knackered bulls
Wed 13th oct 6.00 Pm V Northern Bully Goats
Wed 21st oct - Bye

I've entered the "Old Farts" as a team, the team will be a mixture of Naenae and Petone, and we will play in the white and green harlequin tops (and pref black shorts). Naenae guys, ill know you'll make the Petone guys feel welcome!

Below is detail from the WHA re games etc, however, i need to know who's playing and who isn't, and those new comers what position you prefer (No Nuts, don't bother putting down forwards!)

Remember

• 35+
• Games each Wednesday night in town
•  $50 per player for the subs etc for whole season - this can be DD straight into my acct, and ill pay the WHA. If there is any left over (depends on numbers playing) we'll either do a slight refund or more likely use it for the refreshments on the nights (now that's very PC isn't it!)
• I'll refresh and update the blog for the masters season http://oldfartshockey.blogspot.com/

WHA Masters details

Guys, some details below of the special masters season about to hit the world next wednesday night, 6.00 pm
Men's Comp
We have 5 men's teams therefore unfortunately all teams will have a bye during the competition. The teams will play a round robin with the teams placed 1st and 2nd on points at the end of the round competing for the title on the last day of competition (and the 3rd and 4th placed teams competing for 3rd; unfortunately there will not be a game for the 5th placed team).

Social Stuff
We have arranged for wine and beer glasses to be engraved for the competition (1 per team for each week of competition). Each team will therefore be required to award one of these glasses to a member of the opposition team as a 'player of the day' award. Your team spokesperson will need to be there to present the prize upstairs in the bar following the game (about 20 minutes after the game ends).

Of course, you own players will also want to be there to collect their award. J The NHS Trust has very kindly agreed to fill the player of the day glasses with wine/beer free of charge! A very kind offer from them. Music will be on offer upstairs and a great atmosphere is bound to prevail so we hope to see as many of you up there as possible each week.

Umpires
Umpires will be appointed each week - however from time to time you may be required to supply an umpire for your game. We will get the appointment information out to you as soon as we can for the first round, however we will endeavour to advise you of the umpires the week prior to your game for future rounds

2009 Goal scorers

Total seasons goals inc final "game of the century"
21 - Veitchy
21 - Dave L
12 - Wayne
11 - Dave N
7 - Scotty
5 - Glen - (Matt 4 , Shaun 1)
4 - Robbie
3 - Cameron
3 - Willie
2 - Warwick
1 - Adrian
1 - Ants (the deserter!)

2009 MVP's

below is the final end of year MVP table.

Not annual prizes awarded were
MVP - Paul Veitch
Most Improved - Todd Lymburn

21 - Veitchy
10 - Glen
9 - Robbie
9 - Dave N
9 - Cameron
8 - Scotty
9 - Leon
8 - Nuts
6 - Wayne
5 - Todd
5 - Muzza
3 - Dave L
3 - Aldo
2 - Warwick
2 - Adrian
1 - Willie
1 - Thomas
1 - Matt
1 - Ash

2009 Results

Below are the complete R2 grade season results for the Old Farts
Sun 6th Sep V Karori 3 Drew 4-4
Sat 29th Aug 2:40 pm V Indians 8 Lost 5-2
Sat 22nd Aug V Karori 2 Won 7-2
Sun 16th Aug V Rongatai Sports Won 4-2
Sun 9th Aug V Victoria Won 8 - 5
Sat 1st Aug V Victoria 6 Lost 4 - 3
Sun 26th Jul V YWCA Lost 5 - 2
Sun 19th Jul V Karori 3 Won 4-3
Sun 12th Jul V Indians Lost 4 - 2
Sun 5th Jul V Karori 2 - won 5 - 3
Sun 28th Jun V Rongotai Sports - Drew 2 - 2
Sun 21st Jun V Victoria 4 - Drew 7-7
Sun 14th Jun V Victoria 6 - Lost 4-3
Sun 7th Jun V YWCA 2 - Lost 5-2
Sunday 24th V Karori 3 Loss by Default (9-7)
Sun 17th May V Hutt Won - Default (9-3)
Sun 10th May V Indians Lost 7-3
Sat 2nd May V Rongatai Won 3-2
26th April V Indians Won 4 - 3
19th Apr V Karori - Lost 5-3
5th Apr, V Victoria - Lost 4-2
28th March V Kapiti - Lost 7-3

The match of the century - after the dust has settled

Well, the big game was on saturday, the Young Guns taking on the Old Farts for bragging rights and honour and glory.

Both teams came out expectant of a victory, both had built up to this moment for the whole year, for the Old Farts this was just another game in a long lifetime of games, but for the Young Guns this was the moment for them to prove they had arrived, their test of manhood, like the young Zulu boys single handedly killing a lion to become men, this was their moment to step up.

So the scene was set, and under a baking sun both teams lined up on a hard and fast track, straining at their positions to unleash wave after wave of attack on the opposition .

The Young Guns got the advantage of playing in the familiar red strip, while the Farts took on an "away strip"
The Guns winning the toss choose the ball, and had the pass off but within seconds the ball had been intercepted by "Trapper" (Wayne) on the right wing , passed to Dave L, driven into the cuircle and Trapper picked up the return pass and slotted it past the goalie. The Farts were up with in a minute or two of the wistle!

There was stunned silence in the Guns, they were reeling.

Trappers second goal was even better, a long ball from the halves (Nuts or Scotty?) went to Trapper unmarked in the circle, and everyone was even more stunned when he trapped it and then reverse flicked it past the advancing goalie! 2-0 .

I lost track of what was scored in the first half, but think we were up 4 -2 at half time through Scotty and Dave L adding goals.

And so it went, with the Farts playing cat and mouse with the Guns throught he first half, but the final score showed their dominance at 9 - 5 to the Farts.

This was the best game from a stable Farts pack, with lots of passing, and plenty of running, and justified the Farts position as #2 team

The day was also a special tribute day to Robbie or GOK as he is beginning to be known (refer pic) with it being funny hat day! the night before was the prize giving, and Robbie had turned up in suit and bow tie after the fashion ribbing he had received

Goal scorers

Trapper (Wayne) 2

Dave L 2,

Scotty 2

Willie 1

Cameron 1

Veitchy 1

No MVP's for this match

The match up of the century! - Sat 19th 2.00 - Fraser Park

This year has already seen a host of big match ups', the Silver Ferns v the Diamonds, the AB’s v the Springboks, and Tua V Cameron, but now the event to top them all:-

The Old Farts V The Young Guns!

After years of constant bicker and sniping from the sidelines, IMG have finally been able to contract those two heavyweights of NaeNae hockey (well yes, Ash and Glen, but also the rest of the teams!) the Old Farts V the Young Guns, better know as the R2’s V the R3’s.

This is the end of season game to top them all, who will come out on top, are the Old Farts past it, are they just an old smell that’s hanging around well past their season, or are the young guns just a bunch of hyped up whipper snappers that need putting in their place.

Its illegal to smack the young’ens now, so the oldies will have to assert their presence and mana on the field. Will the young guns cope, or will they cower and cry for their mummies?

Come and see, This Saturday, Fraser park, 2.00 hit off!

All spectators are welcome to come along and cheer or jeer their side on!

Press release - Old Farts entry to WOW

In a move that has stunned the fashion industry and apparently left GOK speechless, the Old Farts have released pre show images of their entry in the WOW (World of Wearable arts) competition.

As you can see from the picture, Robbie is seen here parading the costume before the rest of the team in a pre event showing.

Robbie, the self styled fashion guru of Nae Nae hockey, is seen here wearing tummy hugging shorts, figure flattering shirt and topped off with the latest in anti-skin cancer headwear (SPF 7000+)

Note the fetching colour co-ordinated glove (Robbies tribute to MJ the king of pop) and the comfortable yet form enhancing grey sweat top to match the stripe on his shorts.

This ensemble may be rolled out to the entire Nae Nae club with all royalties being donated to Ropata Old people home (some rumour that Robbie has pencilled his name against an apartment there!)

match report Sun 6th Sep V Karori 3 Drew 4-4 (and sign off for the season)

The Farts had fought back well to get up to the top 4 after a less than desirable start to the season. Being close to securing a play off position, it was disappointing to learn that only 1st and 2nd would have a play off game, thereby making this game the last one of the normal season for the Farts.

We were without a couple of regular players, Glen and Scotty both overseas (South Is, - but not together!). But Robbie was back, and Willie returned for more punishment to his tortured body. Ash also came for a run, so it was a reasonably good team with reserves that lined up to take on Karori 3.
The game see-sawed in the first half, with the farts dashing right winger (or should that be whinger) Wayne, slotting 2 goals, both good efforts (mind you he didn't have to try and trap either of them!).

The first was a ball that was banged in by Dave N from the left, bobbled up from the goalie, Wayne’s first shot rebounded back off the goalie but the subsequent follow up shot rocketed across the line (actually it dribbled in slow motion!).

Wayne’s second was a deft touch off a Dave L shot that was going wide of the gaol but Wayne steered it pas t the gaolie.

In the second half Dave L scored a cracker, slotting a field shot high into the back of the net, and Veitchy finished off the scoring with a shot from the edge of the circle that went quicker than a politician claiming his accommodation allowances.

Unfortunately Karori also scored 4 goals, so it ended in a 4-4 draw.
Apart from that the game was quite scrappy, with a few players having a “quiet word” with the umpires and Cameron having a break on the sideline for a while.

It felt like a good Old farts team though, bolstered with Willie (and thanks for umpiring first half) and Ash on the sideline, and especially valuable was Ash’s insights into the finer points of the game, both during and at half time, something we have missed most of this season.

Special mention to Ainsley, she’s best our most consistent supporter this year, nearly every game, and put up with my post match reviews and whinging after the game, as well as making some suggestions (like apologising to ash!). Thanks!

Goals
Wayne - 2
Dave L - 1
Veitchy - 1

MVP
3 - Cameron - lots of running, covered heaps of ground and played hard
2 - leon - last game, and volunteered to umpire as well
1 - wayne - 2 good goals

It was Leon’s last game for some time with the Farts, he is on transfer to China, and expects to be there a number of years. The Old Farts (and Nae Nae in general) will miss him. On the filed he always gives his best, and is always willing to umpire or help out in any area.

Next major calendar date is the end of year function, Friday week, $25 per head, get your tickets from ash (and its almost compulsory guys!)

After that, the special master’s season starts 6th Oct for 6 weeks and we can probably get a team together for the tournament at Hastings 16th, 17th and 18th Oct if someone organises it (Robbie? Glen?).

So for the regular season, that was the Old Farts for 2009!

And now, the time has come........................Fraser park, Sunday, 5.15!

And now the end is near
So I face the final curtain
My friend, Ill say it clear
Ill state my case of which I’m certain

I’ve lived a life that’s full
I’ve traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exception

I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
Oh, and more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you know
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fails, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh, no, no not me
I did it my way

For what is a man, what has he got
If not himself, then he has not
To say the words he truly feels
And not the words he would reveal
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

Ahhhh................the Old Farts anthem

And so the Old Farts season for 2009 will come to a close, with the final curtain dropping on what was an up and down season when the final whistle blows on Sunday night.

We will end up 3rd, 4th or possibly 5th, but there are only finals games for 1st v 2nd, so this game is the last of the season.

This is a call to all to come along, cheer us on, laugh with us (and at Robbie’s shorts) and probably hurl abuse at the right wing for not trapping again (at least he’s consistent).

I’m sure, that if ash is around, we can twist his arm to open up the club rooms afterwards, and i’d really like the whole team to come up for a drink, even a quick fruit juice.

All are welcome, come along to play, support, cheer or jeer at the Farts 2009 Finale

Match report 29th Aug V Indians 8

What a sporting week that was.

The "World 7" beat the silver ferns twice, With Ruth stating the first loss was due to a lack of team time together (but didn't the World have less time?), saturday night the Lions meowed and gave hew shield to the Cantabs, and in between the Farts got beaten by a more cohesive and skillful Indians team.
After the game there was a lot of frustration with the result and general acknowledgement that we didn't we play to our best.

In the after match press report, the manager put his hand up and apologised for creating the situation that unfolded on saturday. He qouted the often touted Robbie Deans saying that “a champion team will beat a team of champions”, in a big part because they play as a team.

The reality was that the Farts didn't play as team. While they applied a lot of presure in the first half, and the coreboard reflected it (2-1 up at half time), in the second half they lost any cohesion between the defence and attack, with a lot of ball stalled in the middle and what did come foward being squandered as players weren't aware of where each other was.

The reason is very likley due to the number of fill in palyers and others out of their normal postion.

This is not saying individually any of the team played poorly, just that we didn't click as a team, especially given its at the business end of the competition.

Having said that, a big thanks to Ants, Shaun and Chris for turning out for us, also to Willie for testing his legs after his run of injuries, Robbie fresh off the big jet, and of course ash as well.

Good goals in the first half to Dave N (following up) and willie with a stunning dribbling effort. We really did exert some pressure but were unable to convert.

A big thanks also to Richard for umpiring for us.

I have to admit to being pretty depressed after the game (and the shield loss that night), so haven't given deep though to MVP's, however some player do deserve mention and al get 1 point

Robbie - just off big bird that day after trip from the colonies
Willie - big effort after such a long injury recovery period
Ash - came to game although supposed to be working, then drove home to get gear and back again (and opened bar afterwards!)
Glen - solid as ever in goal

This weeks game is ou rlast of the season, there are no playoffs for any teams below 1st or 2nd in the grades. So its Sunday 5.15 at Fraser park.

Glen isn't available, but tim will be an able replacement for him.

See you all there.

Match report V Karori 2 Sat 22nd Aug Won 7-2

Its no surprise really that the AB's are starting to hit there straps now.
After all the discussions, and collusion over training tips, motivational techniques and some skills touch ups that have passed from the Farts Management to Henry and co, its no surprise at all that both teams are peaking at the right end of the tournament.

Saturday was another big step up in intensity, commitment and achievement for both teams. The AB's beat a limp wallabys team that was only kept in the game through Gitteaus boot.

The Farts however, overcome the adversity of being a player down, and having their star right winger (or should that be whinger) sidelined through a back strain injury. again regular team members weren't available due to promotional and contractual commitments, but a quest appearance by Richard (i biked here all the way from tauranga) Crawford and Shaun helped the farts to a 7- 2 victory over a full strength Karori side.

With that win the Farts have jumped up to 3rd place (with only 2 games to go in the regular season), and their goals for finally outscore goals against. Its clear that things are starting to gel, especially in the forwards.

Veitchy put in a typical effort, but this week slotted 5 goals, tywo were memorable. One calmly lifted over the goalie, another from a short dribble to just inside the circle, then thumped past a bewildered goalie that didn't see the blur at all.

Scotty's efforts were rewarded with another goal, and glen picked up a 5th for the season due to Shaun efforts.

In the halves, Richard and Adrian put in big games, and that was where the game was won, with plenty of ball getting through to the forwards.

The defence held up, mainly due to Glens efforts, i think he ran more this game than the whole season, saved a number of goals and our defence managed to "get lucky" often through pressuring Karori to make rash shots.

It was a great game to watch, fast, flowing and lots of cation.

Karori had a secret import, some said he was the start of "death at a funeral", however i think he was just a boy that started to smoke at 10 and never grew. However he missed an open goal, and late in the second half nutmegged Nuts well and truly, in fact i thought he was going to dribble straight between his legs.

Goals
5 Veitchy
1 Scotty
1 Glen (Shaun)

MVP
3 - Veitchy, what do you say, the guy scored 5 goals, although maybe he could pass a bit!
2 - Glen, great defence, lots of commitment
1 - Scotty only 1 goal whih was a bit of a poor effort however lots of energy around the park.

Big game this saturday, V Indians who are sitting 2nd on the table. We should have beten them last time, we need a full strength team and commitment to beat them this time and stay in 3rd slot.

Brain Age test for the Old Farts

A quick check for your brain age .....

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of
Psychiatry at Harvard University. Take your time and see if you can
read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years
of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat..
12. This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I
betcha' you cannot resist passing it on

Match report V Rongatai Sports Sun 16th Aug Won 4-2

India - heat, flies and dodgy food. And this is the headlines on the travel brochures!
Well, when it comes to R2 hockey, one of the key advertising by-lines must be “frustration from poor umpiring”. It’s a fact of life that teams have to supply their own umpires and they can be of questionable quality, let alone ability to control 22 guys charging at each other with wooden clubs in their hands.
And that’s what we got yesterday. Thanks to Ash, at least at one end we had an umpire that was consistent, confident and not only controlled but allowed the players to play the game.
However we all know the score with umpiring in our grade and at the end of the day have to learn to keep quiet and play the game – I’m trying too! Enough said.
The farts took on a youthful and energetic Rongatai yesterday at their home ground. With Big Dave L away, Veitchy slotted into CF, and Cameron made another appearance for the Farts.
The rest of the team was reasonably familiar (could have said solid but that only describes Nuts and Glenn!).
From that foundation, we started well and continued through out the game. It was fast and flowing for most of the first half, with lots of pressure from our attack, and only going to the sheds 2-1 up to show for it.
Ash stepped in to give the speech at half time, everyone was quiet, i think most were trying to get there breath back.
The second half was less spectacular re free running, but we still applied lots of pressure.
The Farts were the eventual winners (and seemingly less frustrated side in the second half) 4-2.

MVP
3 – Cameron, 2 good goals, lots of running, not bad considering he spent 10 mins resting in the bin!
2 – Veitchy – lots of running as usual
1 – Scott lots of support play, great running as well considering he wasn’t well (I’m sure you can get cream to get rid of the rash Scott)
1 – Nuts saved a goal off the line, needs special mention

Goals
Cameron – 2 goals, a number of conversions and some that missed the posts as well
Veitchy – 1
Dave N – 1 (a second hit the post and Wayne couldn’t quite reach it to put it in)

Farts to introduce new sports wear to NZ

Rumour has it Robbie is overseas testing a new style of sports-shorts.
Apparently the waist band is worn at (or above) chest height, and while the shorts are known to cut off valuable circulation, the tightness attracts considerable interest from females in the 65-75 age group.
Other members of Robbie's team are keen to model this fashion statement, but struggle to emulate the style and panache that Robbie always manages to create on the field.

Rueters Aug 2009

Farts Storm back to win

As the Farts were to be without the services of regular players Nuts and Robbie (who is also the team fashion icon), the call went out to all to gather and support the team.

Sunday dawned, the track was hard and fast, the conditions warm and sunny, and 15 players turned up to have the honour of taking the field for the Farts.

mostly regulars, although Ash Dave and Scotty managed to sort out the scheduling errors that sidelined them (read never got to the match) last week.

And then, from out of the tunnel strode the old Farts Caveman (the french coped his style with Chabal), the back that forwards through out the league had come to fear, the site of this brute of a man flashing down the field, hair streaming back (i think by the airflow off his aerodynamic shaped body - ie large guts)....... MUZZA!

The team lost the toss and had to play into the sun, but took the field for the first half confident in their skill and the 450 years of hockey experience they fielded.

The Farts opened the scoring with a goal to Dave L, and had other moments in the first half, for the second game in a row Wayne latched on to a long ball, beat the defender and nearly rounded the goalie, obviously promise there but still needs a bit of polishing the final skills.

However the Farts went to the shed 3 - 1 down! things looked a bit bleak, Victoria were younger and fitter, like most of this grade.

After a stirring half time talk by the Old men of Farts hockey (Dave L and Ash), back onto the field, this time with the sun on our backs.

Maybe that was what made the difference, maybe it was the team talk, maybe just watching Muzza sculling energy drink at half time, but what a difference.

Towards the end of the second half and a lot of attacking play, the Farts were up 8-4, after another goal by Dave L, 2 by Vietchy and a cracking hat trick by Scotty, finished off by a good effort by Dave N.

We did let one back in late , but Vic were a spent force, spending more time arging with the umpires than building a strong game.

The second half was the Scotty and Veitchy show, Scotty dominated up front, not just scroing three but setting up others.

Vietchy was he usual bustling self, slotted 2, final pass to sctt for one,a nd a lot of other work

Toddy saved another goal off the line, great work.

Good efforts by all, while some got the rewards of goals, these were the end result o hard work in the backs and halves.

Goals
Scotty 3 (Great hatrick!)
Dave L 2
Vietchy 2
dave N 1

MVPs
3 - Scotty
2 - Vietchy
1 - Toddy

Guys, game this SUNDAY ELSDON 12.45

Hi all, yes the game this week is on sunday, I said Sunday (Yes Dave and Scott, SUNDAY!).

12.45 at ELSDON.

No Nuts (but hopefully the team has some balls) and no Robbie. Rumour has it Muzza may make a quest appearance to shore up defence (you know how bad Glen is as a goalie).

So we need all there. If you can’t make it please email me, phone me, txt me (or if clear and not too windy even smoke signals may work!)

Match report Sat 1st Aug V Victoria 6 Lost 4 - 3

A 1.15 game on a Saturday afternoon, that brought back memories of playing on grass and seemed a long time ago.

Obviously the time travel got some people confused (or their Tardis wasn’t working properly) as a few of players didn't turn up (no names, Dave L, Ash and Scotty all know who they are!), one reportedly turned up on the Sunday to find no team there (did you feel lonely Scotty?)!

So the farts only had 10 players, and desperately pleaded with Allan into umpiring for us. Thanks Al, because of you we were only 1 player down!

The game started badly and although we had some moments in the first half, at the 35 min whistle we were 3 down and looking like we wished we'd all worn clean undies!

Two stand out moments in the first half deserve mention, Toddy saved a goal from off the line, no mean feat as the ball was about 3 feet off the ground, and definitely a spectacular save to watch.

Late in the half Wayne latched onto a through ball (Vietchy i think), from about 35 metres out, beat a defender, then beat the goalie only to have his shot hit the outside of the post.

So the Farts trudged into the sheds 3-0 down, and apart from some bright moments feeling like the floodgates were going to open.

Veithcy stirred us up with a plan to attack, attack, attack. Reality was we were on a thrashing to nothing, so why not try and score as many as we could.

We moved Nuts into the halves, leon into the forwards, and ran with a full forward line and depleted defence, and it nearly worked as we came back to loss 4-3 (we won the 2nd half 3-1!).

Yellow cards for the week
eicthy and Leon, both for arguing with the ump!

Goals
1 - Vietchy - good effort (actually to be honest I can't remember it too much!)
1 - Wayne - flicked in from a goal mouth scramble, he seems to be getting himself in the right position now to pop them in.
1 - Adrian - shot from edge of the circle, some discussion about Dave N possibly getting a deflection but the 3rd umpire couldn't decide so the goal is given to Adrian

MVP
3 - Vietchy - ran himself ragged in both defence then in forwards
2 - Toddy - good game in defence and saved a lifted shot at goal off the line!
1 - Adrian - another strong game and scored as well!

Match report V YWCA Lost 5 - 2

Well sports fans, abit of a dreary weekend for our heroes.
The AB's created their own demise, as did the Farts, however the warriors ere just given a good old fashioned thrashing.

The only bright spot in the weekend was that Johann Holzenstien won the Northern Ukranian Blind Curling championships for the 5th time in a row. For those that missed his winning shot, I'm hoping to secure footage for the blog, in negotiations with Rupert Murdoch at present, but as this is a world famous event, unlikely to be cheap!

Anyway, on to the Farts. Although we managed to field a quite strong starting lineup, and have some impact players on the bench (i think the manager has been reading Graham Henry's Autobiography again) and an umpire, we were simply outclassed in the deft touches department. I still think we could have held our own, but we came with our "B game, not our best, and the results showed. Down 3 - 2 at half time, YW scored a reply less double in the second.

The Farts just let themselves down with sloppy passing (bearing in mind YWCA showed great touches often to trap the ball) and also too often holding onto the ball for too long, where a quick release would have seen our faster wingers away.

Having said that, players still put in the effort, Leon again was committed to tackle, tackle, tackle and both Nuts and Todd were strong in backs.

The Farts got their second stroke in 2 games, and again weren't able to convert it. Robbie took it, and the goalie saved, as punishment Robbie has been stood down for the next month or so and banished to holidays overseas!

Goals
1 - Dave L again utilising the "foot of god"
1 - Wayne - lucky, was just in the right place at the right time, and got a kindly deflection of a YWCA stick over the line

MVP
3 - Glen - with out his overpowering prescence in goal the farts could well have conceded double figures, although he needs to school up on "back and around" passing, Leon passed back to him and he promptly tried a drop goal from 100 metres!
2 - Veitchy, was very quiet late in the second half, mainly as he had run himself into the ground
1- Adrian - good solid game as always, often not flashy but always there and deserved more than this (i didn't pick the points....)

Match report Sun 19th Jul V Karori 3 Won 4-3

What a weekend, first the AB's showed the way, coming from behind to beat the aussies with a huge forward effort.

Then the Farts did the same coming back from an initial deficit to beat Karori 4-3.

Stacey's boys watched the game live (it was Sky's Match of the day) and that fired them up to beat the roosters in Sydney, and finally the Magic put on a much better performance against the Thunderbirds.

Watching the Farts play was like poetry in motion, poise, strength, speed and skills, and these were just the contribution of Chapman on the right wing!
He had a pearler of a game, finally starting to latch on the long passes that are fired out to the far right corner, several blazing dribbles into and around the circle, defenders left floundering in his wake, and topping it off with three good goals (his first hatrick for nearly 20 years).

The Farts struggled a bit in the first half, and were often caught standing and admiring what they just done, only to see the men in black take the ball away from them.

But a stirring speech at half time, reminiscent of Churchill's famous "beaches"motivated them to lift their game in the 2nd.

Although the Farts only ended up one up, they had a number of shots saved, Veitchy missed a stroke and there were lots of near misses.

The team seemed to click late in the second half, with good combinations beginning to show through and lots of gaps opening up in the Karori defence for the Farts to run through.

Leon again put his body on the line numerous times, with dogged defence and back tackling.

Toddy had a good solid game on his birthday, and again his penalty corner shots are powering into the goal.

Adrian had a run at Inside Left in the 2nd half, and seemed to free up a lot of ball into the forwards.

Robbie was stunning in his "mom"shorts, and again added great vision and distribution at both Left and right halves.

Nuts, well, what can we say, he turned up and played in new shoes! Gok would have been proud of his colour co-ordination.

Thanks to Gus for umpiring, and to the Lymbourn clan for the after match re hydration therapy

Goals
3 - Chappie
1 - Dave L

MVP
3 - Chappie ( i think i deserved it today)
2 - Leon - body on the line stuff again
1 - Toddy - Good solid game today

Match report sun 12th Jul V Indians Lost 4 - 2

Sunday was wet, cold, miserable, and that was just in the changing sheds. Apart from Glens short foray outside (for a fag), the Farts huddled in the visitors shed at the NHS, discussing pre-match tactics, Nuts lack of anything hard and how Robbie manages to get his pants pulled up so far and still walk

Eventually we ventured out into the even colder outside, where it was even more miserable and the wind was blowing, so pre game warm up was running accross to the team shelters on the other side of the field, and then huddling in there.

The game was actually quite a good game to play, the teams were evenly matched (unlike the scoreline) and it was quite open and fast paced. It was a bit physical, and in true Indians style was umpired "by committee", however that's all part and parcel of 22 grown men thinking they are still 20ish.

Graham Henry may have dropped the rotation policy as a way to blood new talent, but the farts are still using it (to some success) to find new players for the future.
This game saw the blooding of new young talent, future stars of the Fart one would hope, and in Thomas's case probably a lot further into the future (think hes still at college?)

Thomas played well, and even had a stint for Indians when they were a player short to start, although he was a little to enthusiastic in attack for them, needs to temper that when playing for the opposition.

Cameron added skill, pace and aggression into the halves, and played well. Shades of a young Robbie, sometimes he seemed to want to stay in the forwards......
However he played well and certainly made a difference.

Dave N managed to snaffle another goal, for a left wing he spends an awful amount of time ion front of goal, but the goal was a "doosie", ball passed from his right, hit first time up into the top LH corner of the goal.

Vietchy scored in the second half, he finished of the hard work that the right wing had done, (he really had the easy part....), Wayne was involved in a couple of passes, then dribbled into the circle, flicked past a wall of defenders (well one but he was big!) to Vietchy who it must be said scored a good goal!

Dave L was denied a goal in the first half when a Indians defenders slide in to deflect the ball at the last mninute.

All in all, a good game, all be it a dissapointing result.

Goals
Dave N - 1
Vietchy - 1

MVP
3-Cameron, outstanding effort and skills.
2-Veitchy, great overall effort and goal
1-Thomas, great effort in his first game for the farts, showed good courage and not affraid to tackle guys twice his age and waist size.

Match report Sun 5th V Karori 2 - Won 5-3

Its been a long time coming, and glad I didn't hold my breath, but the farts passing game started to show up on sunday. The first half at least started and then continued for most of the half with short passing, lots of square and triangle balls, 5 to 10 metre stuff, and to be honest, we looked good doing it.

Towards the end of the firdst half, and the second half in general we rebverted to more long balls, but this was indicitive of the gaps opening up as both teams tired especially in the home straight.

With the game opening up in the second half, and my abscence from right wing, Robbie was able to push up and sea gull around the circle, and he did a good job of latching onto some long passes.

Other good work was done by Dave N up the left flank, and the halves all had a high work rate.

Nuts as usual had a solid game in defence, and even had a run at right wing as well before sanity prevailed and he was despatched back to defence!

Ants put in a cameo role, and showed he can still slot back into our lower grade team when hes finsihed playing up in the clouds!

Warwick continued to show the old skills are still there, although he may be missing for a while as he came off in the 2nd half with a hammy strain.

This week also saw a new tactic in Toddy being the recieved for PC's. With his hit strength this provides a new weapon alongside dave L's more tactical flicks.

All in all it was a good game, it was open and lots of contested ball, but clean and a good feeleing to play agaionst a team more our age!

Goals
Dave L - 2
Paul V - 2
Warwick - 1

MVP
3 - Paul V - scored 2 goals and big work rate in halves
2 - Warwick, great goal, lifted it purposely over the diving goalie, and some other very close shots, also good support work
1 - Nuts - he turned up, he abused most of the players, and he looked funny with his pants pulled up to his nipple line

Match report Sun 28th Jun V Rongotai Sports - Drew 2-2

What a weekend that was sports fans!
After a dreary performance by the AB’s on Saturday night, things certainly livened up on the Sunday.

First the farts game, then the Pulse winning!

The farts drew 2-2 with a young bustling Rongatai side. There was lots of free running., lots of action, both hockey and quite a bit of argy bargy!

Paul “I’ll bite your ear off” Veitch was binned in the second half, and although he probably deserved the card, there was certainly a lot of on the ball niggle and lots of off the ball chatter, both form the pitch and the sideline.

Yours truly made up a hat trick for the “I’ve been gouged” club, after a run into the circle and a big shunt from behind saw me sprawling on the turf. Got up with mionor grazing on my knees and then realized someone had turned a tap on in my thumb and blood was just pouring out oif it. Turns out somewhere in the northern circle is a chunk of my thumb, that now looks like a crater!

There were more ‘incidents” to follow for a number of the team.

On the goal front, two very good goals capped off lots of pressure and a number of misses.

Vietchy slotted one in the first half, and Dave N got onto the end of a string of passes and slammed one into the back of the net in the second.

There were missed opportunities; Robbie missed a couple of sitters, and the umpire missed the foot in front of the goal late in the second half!

Leon and Nuts put in big efforst in defence, with Leon doing a number of incisive attacks up the left flank.

MVP’s
3-Robbie (despite 2 missed gimmes), all round good effort
2-Dave N – goal + good battling both in defence and attack
1-Veitchy, tireless running plus goal (but needs to work on his offensive sweep shot!)

Don’t forget casino evening next week, you can pay at the door, I think its $20 a head

Self pass rules explained

Guys, I've added a link to the video about the new self pass rules. Its quite good explanation.

Have a look http://www.sportplan.net/drills/Hockey/features/selfPass.jsp

Match report Sun 21st Jun V Victoria 4 - drew 7-7

It seemed like ages since the farts last turned up to a match with 12 players!
This game also saw the return to the red and black, and he certainly made an impact in the first half. The team actually had a reasonably familiar feel to it (something we’ve struggled with recently) with Leon back as well. Having said that we experimented with Veitchy in centre e half, Adrian freed up at right half to attack some more and Warwick played his second return game in the forwards.
They only had 8 players, so the Farts loaned them Shaun (mistake number 1! He played well and scored for Varsity as well!).
It was an open game with lots of running, and often good passing into open spaces. Varsity showed good skill levels at trapping and cutting off the too frequent through balls (Old Farts habits die hard), but still a fast moving and enjoyable game.
The end result was a 7 all draw (believe it or not) so the fans that paid to come and cheer on their favourite side certainly got value for money.

Goal scores for Farts were
Dave L – 3 goals, the second a cracker, a pass from Wayne into Dave around mid circle saw dave flick it up over the goalie just under the cross bar
Wayne – 2 the second it must be said just dribbled over the line after taking a goal ward deflection off a defender, probably the softest goal scored this year. Having said that Wayne had driven into the circle, earned a PC but given advantage, passed and scored off the save of someone else’s shot so maybe just reward (yes i can here Dave N’s comments now about self promotion.....)
Warwick – great goal, strong surge forward, passed, got pass back and nailed it.
Dave N – gain, in the right place at the right time!

MVP
3 - Dave L – have to after he’s scored three goals, one awesome one and lots of good support play
2- Wayne – yes I know it looks a jack up, but hey, scored three, set up at least one other and lots of running (and besides, I’ve never been given any points before!)
1 – Dave n – good goal, lots of work

Special Mention
Warwick – slotting back into the Farts well, obviously likes a hard track, only finished couple of races but should be a prospect to look out for later in season
Nuts – hard work as usual, blah blah blah (what else can you say?)

A Fart - A poem to showcase the more artist side of the team

A fart it is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song....

A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairies,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.

But that farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget....
Sweet old farts like you!

(offered up by Glen our politically corect goalie!)

Match report Sun 14th Jun V Victoria 6 - Lost 4-3

While the media focuses on the All Blacks and their glut of players in the "casualty ward", they have again failed to notice that the other most symbolic of NZ sporting teams, "The Old Farts" are struggling with the same issues.

With the Black caps crashing out of the 20/20 world cup, and the All whites getting thumped, maybe the media will again turn the spotlight on the Farts?

Anyway, onto the match report. The Farts have only just played the 1st game of round robin 1 and were already without a number of regular players due to injury and illness. There was a rumour that some had swine flu, however they were simply over heard eating at the reunion!

Sundays game saw only 11 farts players turn up. This included Wayne who wasn't playing due to having the flu (human flu, well as human as he can be) so he had come to umpire. This left us with really only 10 players capable of taking the field. It must be noted here that Victoria didn't hesitate to offer a player or two to bolster the side to full strength, and the loan player that took Wayne's Right wing position probably played better than he would have.
Did anyone get his name or contact details?

a new "Old Fart" joined the team this week, and made some good runs. Warwick is a "previous" fart, and has come back to reclaim the past glory (more likely the socialising!).

Given the issues with player numbers and no subs, the farts did ok. initially the scoring was neck and neck, the farts even up 2-1 at one stage, but the second half saw them mainly camped on defence.

Again Nuts had a huge game in defence, and although he wanted to come off at the end of the third quarter (blouse) he stayed on and kept going.

Not a lot else can be said, most players had their "walking" moments, simply because they have given their all.

Dave N scored two cracking goals, maybe it was because his wife has fixed up his protection during the week
Dave L scored the other.

All in all, only going down 4-3 was a good result.

MVPs this week
3 - Dave N - for 2 great goals and some back up in defence
2 - Nuts commitment in defence
1 - veitchy - lots of running (might have got more if he passed a bit more though LOL)

On the player front, management is scouring the draft players to try and strengthen the team.
- There are rumours that Might Muzza might be enticed back
- Dave W is toying with the idea, and again this would up our level of Daves
- Dave Joyce was approached but appears to have gone soft!
- This week sees Scotty being beamed back onto the field

Also making another cameo appearance for the Farts this week will be Timbo, he's filling in for Glen who is on "Mother in Law" duty.

Can everyone please confirm that they WILL be playing so i can organise ring ins if required.

Match Report Sun 7th Jun V YWCA 2 – Lost 5-2

Our first game this year on the big field! NHS 1, and a cool one at that. It was decidedly nippy and a good reason for the Farts to keep moving around (easier to keep warm!), although the number of beanies worn may have been testament to the lack of hair (well mine was).

We only had 11 players, and had to supply an umpire, so were under pressure from the get go. To be brutally honest, they were younger, fitter, had more players and appeared to have a coach and real strategy. However these are all things the Farts are used to being up against and apart from the more players, usually we manage to compete well.

However being a player down, and combined with above, it was hard going.
On the positive side, we scored to great goals, Dave N slotted in after Wayne had taken a quick self tap hit in, dribbled a bit (the ball not his mouth, too cold for that saliva was frozen!) and passed into the circle. Dave’s cracking shot didn’t give the goalie a chance.

Dave had another similar shot at goal in the first half (again from a wayne pass) that just whizzed past the outside of the posts.

In the second half, Robbie had a foray into the forwards (he’d volunteered to ump 1st half) and picked up a ball in the CF region, beat a couple of players and hammered it past the Left Hand side of the advancing goalie into the net. Now a spectator did report that Robbie may have had a “foot of god” incident in the dribbling, but hey, great goal.

We have a number of chances in the second half, mostly long balls that Wayne latched onto, and although he looked impressive with his running style (you know, hair blowing in the wind, lithe muscular body.....) he promptly wrecked most of that imagery by stuffing up the pass or some such. Not always but definitely room for improvement

Four players stood out this week.
Nuts 3pts – played an awesome role in defence, and had a big second half. Also out in a cracking centring pass in the first half that Wayne managed to get his head out of the way of
Leon 2pts – great commitment, lots of horizontal tackling! And saved a goal off the line in the first half
Glen 1pts – in the first half his keeping kept the score down, even under huge pressure
Aldo – silly fool had his appendix out 6 days ago and still turned up to play, now thats commitment and deserves special MVP of 2 pts.

Finally a funny comment to end the report.
A certain player, who shall remain nameless due to a court injunction (but he plays left wing and scored a gaol!) commented prior to the game that he had purchased some new “protection” as his old ones had worn out. However on “putting on” said “protection”, he promptly broke it.

Now I’m not sure if he was trying to imply something about size, but two things are apparent:
- Firstly, you can’t expect much from items from the $2 shop!
- Secondly – maybe that’s how he became the father of two young boys

Reunion and upcoming games

well,Queens birthday weekend is over for another year, the weather was crap (it snowed here in Whitemans Valley sunday, and the ice was still on the ground out the back on monday morning!) and i missed out on a knighthood!

But, the NCOB reunion went down a real treat. Good to catch up with a few people i knew from the past. Maybe we have picked up a couple of new old players too. Good also to see other older members of the club socialising together.

Neil McCarthy summed it uip in his speech when he stated the insignia showed a combination of hockey and socialising. Now that's what the "Farts" are about.

Anyway, posted are games for next 6 weeks, this is round robin 1, let the games begin.

Match report Sunday 24th V Karori 3

The following match report is from our on the spot report Nuts

"The weather was really crap.....We only had 7 turn up to the game. I think the score was about 9-7 to them. Some of their guys played for us........ Veitchy was on fire, Glen played in the backs - Now I know why he is a goalie, Todd played as a forward - he was impressive when he tried to run down a ball going over the base line - I didn't think he was going to stop.......

The game was really a write off - We had fun having a run around - Maybe we should just call it our first practice for the season."

2 x Match Reports V Indians and also Hutt

V Indians Lost 7-3
Well, what can we say, we started with 10, mostly played crap (very disjointed) and got beaten! We not only struggled to cover the field with less players, but run out of steam as well.

Tim filled in for Glen, although the score didn't reflect it he played very well.

No MVP's this week

V Hutt Won by default (won friendly 9-2)
The Farts turned up with a full team, however Hutt were only able to rustle up 7 players. While we warmed up and waited, they still couldn't Field a team so they defaulted, however they agreed to play a "friendly" as we were all there anyway.

We did ask if any of our team were willing to play for them to even the numbers up, surprisingly neither Nuts nor Adrian were forth coming! Veitchy did however play for them for part of the first half.

Through out the game a few more Hutt players trickled in to add to there team, I think they finished with 10?

The first half was quite even, with pressure at both ends and at one stage being 2 - 2.
Should have been more, but Wayne seemed to struggle trapping the ball (couldn't control a pass in the circle from Dave L when they only had the goalie to beat!), and a number of shots blocked or missed the goal.

Veitchy almost scored for Hutt as well!

Goal Scorers were
Dave L 3
Veitchy 3
Dave N 2
Wayne 1

The second half saw the Farts settle into more of a rhythm, with another 7 goals scored. Dave L played back to his normal level of great touches and passes, Veitchy was all over the place and scored a fantastic back handed swat into the goal after a goalmouth scramble with at least 3 shots at goal blocked by the goalie.
Dave N deserved his two goals, he put in a lot of running on the left, with a lot of backing up as well.

Waynes goal was soft. Their goalie took a quick "16", which Wayne swooped on and flicked past him into the net.

MVP
3 pts Veitchy - lots of running and support work, lots of passing (for once!), 3 goals and one of them an awesome goal
2 pts - Dave N - good support up the left flank and a couple of goals as well
1 pt - Nuts - solid defence as always and tireless distribution.

Also must be mentioned good games from Adrian, Ash and Aldo.

Match Report V Rongatai - won 3-2

Well the Farts came out again, this time our first night game and it was cooler and darker (But we're all big boys, we're not afraid of the dark........).

The team structure was starting to settle a bit, although we lost Big Muzza in the back line (probably out for the season, he’s pulled a “father guilty that he’s not spending time with his son and family” muscle (seriously though, new baby, really busy work/home – understandable), Veitchy was off swanning around somewhere, Scotty still damaged ribs. But we did have nuts back, and ash even made a cameo appearance in the backs, showing off some fancy stick skills (probably easier for him that trying to run)
Some of the Rongotai team had a familiar look, mostly a young look! But right from the initial whistle we had all the pressure, a couple of blinding runs up the right flank by Wayne, lots of attack up the left, and yet they still scored first!
The game sort of ebbed and flowed, and to be honest our halves and backs sustained a lot of pressure through the middle of the game.
There seemed to be better communication through the backs and centre’s, and several players put in huge games.
Leong showed great commitment, often throwing himself around to tackle and cut off the ball. Although his performance was marred by a late dive that to be honest was pretty pathetic. Certainly wouldn’t make the Olympic diving team.
Matt run rings around the opposition again and once again “donated” a goal to glen.
Robbie and Willie both had good running games, and interchanged in positions, with Willie scoring a great goal that he had started with a one two with matt.
Dave L chipped in with a goal as well, to make our final tally 3. We had them at 3-1 for most of the second half, even threatening to score 4 or 5, Wayne carved up their defence only to be taken out just as he was about to score his first of the season.
In the dying minutes they rallied and came back at us, scoring their second, and trying desperately to slot a third as well, but thankfully full time beat them to it.

Goal scorers
Dave L – 1
Glen (Matt) – 1
Willie – 1

MVP
Leong – 3 (2 for his playing efforts, 1 for the feeble dive and triple roll off the pitch)
Robbie – 2 lots of effort and running
Matt – 1 deserves aty least that for scoring, and now “almost” a team member

Match report V Indians - won 4 - 3

The first early game of the season, although they say the older you get the less sleep you need, we still started the game with only 10 players.

Dave N - delayed kids soccer (due to Anzac day) and a rib injury to Scotty were some of the causes.

The re arranged Farts started play in a light rain, and although we were a player down we still kept up good pressure.

Matt arrived, "on loan" from the top team, and within a short period stamped his mark pon the team with his first goal.

Matt went onto score three, unfortunately , in trues Farts tradition, Loan players oals get credited to the goalie so Glen now has 3 goals for the season!

Close to the end of the game, the farts were up 4-1, although they let 2 quick goals in right near full time.

The re arranmged line up seemed to work well, with a more cohesive approach.

The defense was more solid, with both Muzza and Toddy providing good ball forwward, and a better defensive screen with backs and halves.

Robbie scored a greta goal, so maybe has his token goal of the season?

Dave and Vietchy had a number of close misses as well. It has to be said that the indian goalie kept them in the game.

Hard to pick MVP's, but here goes
3 - Muzza good defence, saved a couple off the line in the first half, and good organisation at the back
2 - Robbie - he scored, what more can you say, but, he did polay well, with lots of good support play
1- Todd - good solid play in defence.

Of Note, first card of the seaosn to Dave L, yellow. pretty tame really but its in the record books.

Match report Rnd 3 - V Karori 5 -3

Well the Farts are still struggling with early season jitters (actually more like wheezing, coughing and muscle cramps!)!

We had some moments of brilliance, and also had a reasonable amount of pressure which we didn't convert, but our lack of match fitness made it hard especially when they run at us in packs through the midfield. Often our defence was struggling against more numbers as they attacked in waves.

Although it must be said i think their average age was much less that ours, and we certainly had the heavier pack weight(pity there were no scrums).

We did open the scoring, and kept with them (in the second half mainly through the defences efforts). But we tried to dribble too far to often, and our passes weren't hit with there usual forcefulness. We also didn't play as a team, more as disconnected individuals.

Time will improve things (what else can i say, we played crap, but I'm trying to pick some positives out of it!)

Glen had an outstanding game, and if it wasn't for him the result would have been close to double figures.

Robbie has adapted well to the new rules (for an old dog) and his self taps from the 16 opened up the channels more than in the past.

Aldo was dogged in defence, shadowing and pressuring their attackers.

MVP Points for the gamke
3 - Glenn
2 - Robbie
1 - Aldo

Good goals to Dave L (2) and Vietchy.

Thank good next game is earlier so we won't wilt in the heat.

Match Report Rnd 2 V Victoria, Sunday 5th

Round 2 of the new season and the Farts managed to field a full time (and some reserves and an umpire!).

With some players still struggling to recover from last weeks game (Willie was it true you drank that much!) and Ants deciding that the level of Hockey in R2 was too much for him and therefore going to a less demanding grade (P2?) the team had tinges of new ness.
We managed to lower the average age again (thanks to Aldo and Shaun), but the old faces were back again.

Anyway, the Farts had all the pressure in the first half, but due to good goalkeeping only managed to go to the oranges break at 1-1. It was an exclellnet and deserved goal to Scotty, after wayne drove into attack (from a scotty pass), but the ball ended up back with scotty and found the back of the net.

In the 2nd half Victorias youth (read fitness and a much lower average body weight) saw themscore three opportunist goals. The Farts still had most of the pressure but only converted once through Veitchy.

Overall it wasn't a bad 2nd game of the season, The farts are traditionally slow starters, and tend to be looking to peak later in the season (for the prize giving?).

MVP for the day
3 points - Scotty - good goal, good overall game, lots of energy and running.
2 points - Muzza , solid game in defence, and managed to appear in the attack line a couple of times, in fact its a sight to see, Muzza at full flight, stomach creating an aerodynamic advantage, hair streaming back!
1 point - Dave N, some good runs up the left flank, and just missed a goal with a shot slightly wide.

Next game is till 19th, enjoy your easter, but watch the calories (yer right, watch them pack on the waist!).

wayne

Let the games begin.......Match report rnd 1 V Kapiti

Heres the Match report from "Manager of the day" Glen:
With only 7 payers taking the field it was always going to be a struggle.
Leong got lost but thanks to a Kapiti supporter we ended up fielding 8 after about 10 minutes that soon went to 7.5 when Ash strained a muscle or two.
Half time saw us 3 - 2.
We started the second half with 8 players again, Ash stranded in the attacking circle and Ant's son in left wing seagull mode.
Our efforts of the first half caught up on us as we tired with full time seeing us 9 - 3 down.
2 goals to Dave L and one to Ants.
No individual player of the day, everyone played out of their skin.

Well done team, I think that first up performance was a good result against such over whelming odds, i.e. only 7 or 8 players (and one of those was ash!)

The More things change the more they stay the same

As we wait on the dawn of the new Hockey season, WHA has done it again.

They put up a draw for the start of the season, and publicised it, then changed it, and then changed it again!
So now the first game for the farts this weekend is V Kapiti up at Paraparaumu.

New seaon, fisrt game, new turf!

Glens doing an ok job of orgnaising the team, heres his list so far (Good for a 5 aside game!)

The team so far is:
Dave L
Glen
Todd
Nuts
Ash
Dave W (?)
Richard Manson (Umpire)

Not available:
Dave N
Wayne
Scotty
Murray
Paul
Craig

I'm not sure about:
Robbie
Willy

In addition, Ash has offered the use of his holiday manor
"I will play and a general invite to everyone i have a place in Waikawa beach
no 6 sarah st 9km north of Otaki turn left at manakau and keep going until
you reach the river everyone welcome after the game i have some booze and
will put some food on the bbq"

First round of games for the farts for 2009

Heres the draw for the first few weeks

Sun 29th March NHS1 3.45 V Rongatai
Sun 5th April Fraser Park 12.45 V Kapiti
Sun 19th April Elsdon 12.45 V Victoria
Sun 26th April Fraser 9.45am V Karori
Sun 10th May Fraser 5.15 V Indians
Sun 17th May Fraser 9.45am V Hutt

As I mentioned, I won't be there for the first game, so can you please let Glen know that you're playing , he will be in charge of this first game and will organise jerseys etc.

Yes Adrian, well try and get you the new socks as promised last year!
Wayne

And so another season begins sports fans......

Yes its true,
· America has their first black president
· Amy Winehouse is out of rehab, and back in again, and out, and in, and out...................
· Winston Peters has finally paid for his “ministerial’ car
· And the Old Farts are about to start a new campaign of world dominance on the wellington hockey turfs
The seasons will start on the weekend of 28th march. Great timing, it will still be warm, sunny and fine (yeah Right!). Glen will organise the team for the day (from the backline), as I will be in Melbourne, enjoying the wonders of the Aussie GP, you know, fast cars, loud engines, smell of rubber and fuel and lots of girls in little bikini’s!

To those who didn’t come to club day last weekend (and I wouldn’t know cause I couldn’t turn up) you can fill out an application form online http://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?hl=en&formkey=cEREWkRsWFluWVdXb2Jwc0lWRUpDWWc6MA..

Yes I know it looks odd but believe me it is the online form!

Fees this year are $320 if you pay early (read on time!) by end of march and $360 if you pay late (any time after that!). If you have any queries drop Craig a line gusters@gmail.com

Craig will ensure you get an invoice promptly, and also let you know acct details for direct transfer etc.

Technology marches on, as does time (and some of our teams waist lines!), so I’ve tried to move the Farts along with it. This year, as well as the bombardment of emails and txts we have added a blog to our Tele communications network.

You can find the farts on the web at http://www.oldfartshockey.blogspot.com/ . there a posting of this email , and a back ground bio, also managed to get a pic up there. I’ll update this each week, and add pics etc.
All you have to do is go to the site, subscribe and then enjoy the experience ! let’s give it a try, it even gives you a chance to comment etc.

Final note, but most of you thought Murray was having a baby (well he does look it doesn’t he!), actually Maureen is, and due to give birth in the next few weeks, I’ll keep you posted if I hear news.

Wayne

The Old Farts - an intro.

The Old Farts are as the name suggests, a hockey team made up of a bunch of Old Farts.
We are all "more mature" players, although last year saw a couple of "honorary" Old farts, as we had a couple that were two young really to play with a team that had so much stored wisdom and knowledge (most of it appears to be stored around the waist line!).

Most of the players have played their earlier (spring and summer) seasons for Nae Nae, and are now into their autmun years, (like trees, leaves at top fall off, trunk thickens at waist line, small animals and insects start living in the crevices)

Every game we have a newsletter email, with a run down of the game, (or just running down the players) and a reminder of next weeks game.

This season, while i was musing therough the permuatations I hit on the idea of runnig a blog instead!

So here it is.

I'll attempt to attach the review of previous years, and also some pics as time goes on.

Wayne
Communications and marketing executive, team list compiler and team archivist