Monday, August 24, 2009

Match report V Karori 2 Sat 22nd Aug Won 7-2

Its no surprise really that the AB's are starting to hit there straps now.
After all the discussions, and collusion over training tips, motivational techniques and some skills touch ups that have passed from the Farts Management to Henry and co, its no surprise at all that both teams are peaking at the right end of the tournament.

Saturday was another big step up in intensity, commitment and achievement for both teams. The AB's beat a limp wallabys team that was only kept in the game through Gitteaus boot.

The Farts however, overcome the adversity of being a player down, and having their star right winger (or should that be whinger) sidelined through a back strain injury. again regular team members weren't available due to promotional and contractual commitments, but a quest appearance by Richard (i biked here all the way from tauranga) Crawford and Shaun helped the farts to a 7- 2 victory over a full strength Karori side.

With that win the Farts have jumped up to 3rd place (with only 2 games to go in the regular season), and their goals for finally outscore goals against. Its clear that things are starting to gel, especially in the forwards.

Veitchy put in a typical effort, but this week slotted 5 goals, tywo were memorable. One calmly lifted over the goalie, another from a short dribble to just inside the circle, then thumped past a bewildered goalie that didn't see the blur at all.

Scotty's efforts were rewarded with another goal, and glen picked up a 5th for the season due to Shaun efforts.

In the halves, Richard and Adrian put in big games, and that was where the game was won, with plenty of ball getting through to the forwards.

The defence held up, mainly due to Glens efforts, i think he ran more this game than the whole season, saved a number of goals and our defence managed to "get lucky" often through pressuring Karori to make rash shots.

It was a great game to watch, fast, flowing and lots of cation.

Karori had a secret import, some said he was the start of "death at a funeral", however i think he was just a boy that started to smoke at 10 and never grew. However he missed an open goal, and late in the second half nutmegged Nuts well and truly, in fact i thought he was going to dribble straight between his legs.

5 Veitchy
1 Scotty
1 Glen (Shaun)

3 - Veitchy, what do you say, the guy scored 5 goals, although maybe he could pass a bit!
2 - Glen, great defence, lots of commitment
1 - Scotty only 1 goal whih was a bit of a poor effort however lots of energy around the park.

Big game this saturday, V Indians who are sitting 2nd on the table. We should have beten them last time, we need a full strength team and commitment to beat them this time and stay in 3rd slot.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Brain Age test for the Old Farts

A quick check for your brain age .....

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of
Psychiatry at Harvard University. Take your time and see if you can
read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years
of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat..
12. This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I
betcha' you cannot resist passing it on

Monday, August 17, 2009

Match report V Rongatai Sports Sun 16th Aug Won 4-2

India - heat, flies and dodgy food. And this is the headlines on the travel brochures!
Well, when it comes to R2 hockey, one of the key advertising by-lines must be “frustration from poor umpiring”. It’s a fact of life that teams have to supply their own umpires and they can be of questionable quality, let alone ability to control 22 guys charging at each other with wooden clubs in their hands.
And that’s what we got yesterday. Thanks to Ash, at least at one end we had an umpire that was consistent, confident and not only controlled but allowed the players to play the game.
However we all know the score with umpiring in our grade and at the end of the day have to learn to keep quiet and play the game – I’m trying too! Enough said.
The farts took on a youthful and energetic Rongatai yesterday at their home ground. With Big Dave L away, Veitchy slotted into CF, and Cameron made another appearance for the Farts.
The rest of the team was reasonably familiar (could have said solid but that only describes Nuts and Glenn!).
From that foundation, we started well and continued through out the game. It was fast and flowing for most of the first half, with lots of pressure from our attack, and only going to the sheds 2-1 up to show for it.
Ash stepped in to give the speech at half time, everyone was quiet, i think most were trying to get there breath back.
The second half was less spectacular re free running, but we still applied lots of pressure.
The Farts were the eventual winners (and seemingly less frustrated side in the second half) 4-2.

3 – Cameron, 2 good goals, lots of running, not bad considering he spent 10 mins resting in the bin!
2 – Veitchy – lots of running as usual
1 – Scott lots of support play, great running as well considering he wasn’t well (I’m sure you can get cream to get rid of the rash Scott)
1 – Nuts saved a goal off the line, needs special mention

Cameron – 2 goals, a number of conversions and some that missed the posts as well
Veitchy – 1
Dave N – 1 (a second hit the post and Wayne couldn’t quite reach it to put it in)

Farts to introduce new sports wear to NZ

Rumour has it Robbie is overseas testing a new style of sports-shorts.
Apparently the waist band is worn at (or above) chest height, and while the shorts are known to cut off valuable circulation, the tightness attracts considerable interest from females in the 65-75 age group.
Other members of Robbie's team are keen to model this fashion statement, but struggle to emulate the style and panache that Robbie always manages to create on the field.

Rueters Aug 2009

Monday, August 10, 2009

Farts Storm back to win

As the Farts were to be without the services of regular players Nuts and Robbie (who is also the team fashion icon), the call went out to all to gather and support the team.

Sunday dawned, the track was hard and fast, the conditions warm and sunny, and 15 players turned up to have the honour of taking the field for the Farts.

mostly regulars, although Ash Dave and Scotty managed to sort out the scheduling errors that sidelined them (read never got to the match) last week.

And then, from out of the tunnel strode the old Farts Caveman (the french coped his style with Chabal), the back that forwards through out the league had come to fear, the site of this brute of a man flashing down the field, hair streaming back (i think by the airflow off his aerodynamic shaped body - ie large guts)....... MUZZA!

The team lost the toss and had to play into the sun, but took the field for the first half confident in their skill and the 450 years of hockey experience they fielded.

The Farts opened the scoring with a goal to Dave L, and had other moments in the first half, for the second game in a row Wayne latched on to a long ball, beat the defender and nearly rounded the goalie, obviously promise there but still needs a bit of polishing the final skills.

However the Farts went to the shed 3 - 1 down! things looked a bit bleak, Victoria were younger and fitter, like most of this grade.

After a stirring half time talk by the Old men of Farts hockey (Dave L and Ash), back onto the field, this time with the sun on our backs.

Maybe that was what made the difference, maybe it was the team talk, maybe just watching Muzza sculling energy drink at half time, but what a difference.

Towards the end of the second half and a lot of attacking play, the Farts were up 8-4, after another goal by Dave L, 2 by Vietchy and a cracking hat trick by Scotty, finished off by a good effort by Dave N.

We did let one back in late , but Vic were a spent force, spending more time arging with the umpires than building a strong game.

The second half was the Scotty and Veitchy show, Scotty dominated up front, not just scroing three but setting up others.

Vietchy was he usual bustling self, slotted 2, final pass to sctt for one,a nd a lot of other work

Toddy saved another goal off the line, great work.

Good efforts by all, while some got the rewards of goals, these were the end result o hard work in the backs and halves.

Scotty 3 (Great hatrick!)
Dave L 2
Vietchy 2
dave N 1

3 - Scotty
2 - Vietchy
1 - Toddy

Friday, August 7, 2009

Guys, game this SUNDAY ELSDON 12.45

Hi all, yes the game this week is on sunday, I said Sunday (Yes Dave and Scott, SUNDAY!).

12.45 at ELSDON.

No Nuts (but hopefully the team has some balls) and no Robbie. Rumour has it Muzza may make a quest appearance to shore up defence (you know how bad Glen is as a goalie).

So we need all there. If you can’t make it please email me, phone me, txt me (or if clear and not too windy even smoke signals may work!)

Monday, August 3, 2009

Match report Sat 1st Aug V Victoria 6 Lost 4 - 3

A 1.15 game on a Saturday afternoon, that brought back memories of playing on grass and seemed a long time ago.

Obviously the time travel got some people confused (or their Tardis wasn’t working properly) as a few of players didn't turn up (no names, Dave L, Ash and Scotty all know who they are!), one reportedly turned up on the Sunday to find no team there (did you feel lonely Scotty?)!

So the farts only had 10 players, and desperately pleaded with Allan into umpiring for us. Thanks Al, because of you we were only 1 player down!

The game started badly and although we had some moments in the first half, at the 35 min whistle we were 3 down and looking like we wished we'd all worn clean undies!

Two stand out moments in the first half deserve mention, Toddy saved a goal from off the line, no mean feat as the ball was about 3 feet off the ground, and definitely a spectacular save to watch.

Late in the half Wayne latched onto a through ball (Vietchy i think), from about 35 metres out, beat a defender, then beat the goalie only to have his shot hit the outside of the post.

So the Farts trudged into the sheds 3-0 down, and apart from some bright moments feeling like the floodgates were going to open.

Veithcy stirred us up with a plan to attack, attack, attack. Reality was we were on a thrashing to nothing, so why not try and score as many as we could.

We moved Nuts into the halves, leon into the forwards, and ran with a full forward line and depleted defence, and it nearly worked as we came back to loss 4-3 (we won the 2nd half 3-1!).

Yellow cards for the week
eicthy and Leon, both for arguing with the ump!

1 - Vietchy - good effort (actually to be honest I can't remember it too much!)
1 - Wayne - flicked in from a goal mouth scramble, he seems to be getting himself in the right position now to pop them in.
1 - Adrian - shot from edge of the circle, some discussion about Dave N possibly getting a deflection but the 3rd umpire couldn't decide so the goal is given to Adrian

3 - Vietchy - ran himself ragged in both defence then in forwards
2 - Toddy - good game in defence and saved a lifted shot at goal off the line!
1 - Adrian - another strong game and scored as well!