Thursday, May 30, 2013

Up Close and Personal - Trapper

Continuing on our up close and personal series, this weeks favorite Fart is Trapper

Name – Wayne ‘mumble mumble’ Chapman
Nickname – Trapper
Why the nickname – early in his rejuvenated career (around 40) as a right winger he struggled to trap the ball! – Then later he became an expert at it and now teaches trapping professionally! (Yeah right!)
Usual position –playing somewhere where he’s not needing to defend or tackle,
Preferred playing position – Right wing
What you most like about hockey – the friendly and down to earth nature of the officials and their readiness at discussing the finer points of the game with you
When did you start playing – College, as a skinny long haired Left winger 1978
Where? – Taita College, often on the grass field with a corner that was always under water.
Highlight of your career so far – helping the team to 2 finals in recent years, but we won’t talk about ‘that final’ or the breather I had on the sideline
Funniest hockey moment – when Vietchy joined NaeNae and was handed his playing uniform by Ropes, a skirt!
Awards to date –
  • Member of the winning Farts team - 2011 World NaeNae Hockey club quiz night!
  • Club recognition award ( I think for writing funny crap about the team) 2011
  • Consistent runner up for MVP and Most Improved trophies, but as no one remembers 2nd place have no proof of these
Favourite food – Chocolate – any and all
Favourite Drink – Wine, Vodka and Red Bull – preferably free
Favourite artist – Eurhythmics, will actually only Annie Lennox!
Favourite Song – Fat Bottomed Girls
Favourite movie – The Blues brothers, The Castle or Forrest Gump
Favourite car – Nuts Mustang
If you could be any animal what would you be – Dog (probably a lab, an eating machine!) – Because you can scratch, sniff and lick all you want and no one thinks worse of you

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Understrength Farts narrowly lose to Harbour City

They were sure if it was a bad omen, that for their Warm Up Harbour City got out a set of cones and have dribbling/passing/shooting exercises, someone needed to tell them this was R2 not the Olympics!

The sun was shining, but unfortunately Trapper lost the toss and the Farts found themselves facing the sun for the first half against Harbour City.

It was a rearranged side that took the field, missing our two key halves Al and Dave R. But the Farts took Harbour City by surprise opening the scoring with a goal to Moses.  Shortly after a pass from Craig found Trapper in space, a quick pass to Moses and Farts were 2-0 up.

This was in spite of some very average umpiring at the Farts defensive end. The Farts defence held up well, and Footy was superb in goal.

The side was depleted more when Phil was forced off with a Hamstring strain, leaving the Farts with only 11.

Harbour City seemed to spark into a more determined frame of mind, they locked up the mid field and half time saw them ahead 3-2.

The second half was more open, although umpiring decisions at one end continued to baffle both teams.

Trapper again found space, and another quick transfer saw Moses pick up his hat trick and the Farts draw level. Harbour city scored after that to again edge forward, and then getting their 5th.
The Farts had wave after wave of attack, with several PC’s, the HC goalie made some saves and one clearance from his line nearly took off Trappers head. The umpire at that end didn’t see it that way and after some discussion felt that Trapper needed a rest on the sidelines.

The Farts managed another goal, to Zac, to bring the final score to 5-4. Not a bad effort against a younger fitter team, although they were clearly missing their key midfielders and a number of missed opportunities.

It was no consolation to Trapper, who knew he’d let the team down, that the other umpire was surprised at the lack of a PC for dangerous play.

3- Footy – very clearly a great game in defence, saved a number of goals
2 – Moses – great Hat trick
1-      Craig – brought oranges
-3 – Trapper – should have kept his mouth shut!

3 -Moses

1 - Zac

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Favorite Fart - Up close and Personal!

We are starting a new feature “close to personal to your favorite Fart”. This will feature a number of questions designed to get you a closer more intimate knowledge of your favorite team players , on and off the field.
To kick it off, this week we will feature Nuts, the Coach/Captain .

Name – Robert Alfred Reginald Herbert Fergusson Almond
Nickname – Nuts
Why the nickname – Because growing up I couldn't remember all my names
Usual position – Back- or sitting down on sideline
Preferred playing position – anywhere I can score goals
What you most like about hockey – the rewards for scoring goals
When did you start playing – Hard to remember back that far but think 1980
Where? - Tauranga
Highlight of your career so far – having the pleasure of playing alongside Trapper
Awards to date
  • Most Peanut slabs sold (eaten!) 20010, 2011 & 1012,
  • Tightest Butt award Napier Masters 2010
Favorite food – The grease at the bottom of a KFC bucket
Favorite Drink - Oranges
Favorite artist – Demis Roussos
Favorite Song – I’m a little teapot
Favorite movie – Big Mama
Favorite car – My Mustang
If you could be any animal what would you be – Pig, get to eat whatever you want when-ever you want and nobody cares how you do it!

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Old farts return to R2 saw their first game at home verses Northern united

Old farts return to R2 saw their first game at home verses Northern united.
With the return of Trapper from the "Great Southern Road Trip", Phil off the injury list and Dan back from a mini break saw the Farts field a team with two subs.
With Dave L leading the forwards and Craig marshalling the Mid field, with Todd directing the defence the Farts were rearing to go.
The first half saw play at both ends of the field with both teams missing opportunities.
There were some feisty exchanges on and off the field with Northern providing an outspoken spectator, who apparently didn't like the way the Farts were dealing with the opposition.
After the break the drought was broken at the wrong end and Northern were soon 2 goals up.
Never a team to give up saw some Dave L magic we all know and love. Dave received the all in the circle with his back to the keeper he dragged the ball right then left to nail a sweet reverse stick goal in the back of he net.
The equalising goal was scored by Willie who soundly trapped a ball on the top of the circle and powered it past the keeper.
The game ended a well deserved draw.

1 - Dave L
1 - Willy

3 - Al
2 - Zac
1 - Toddy

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Old Farts back where they belong......

After an outstanding double header sunday, with 2 wins in the bag the Old Farts have been promoted straight back into R2, where they belong.

Backing up from a 5-2 win over the Young Guns (with only 10 men v 15!) they beat Upper Hutt4 to progress straight to R2!

The Old farts showed their stamina, skill and wise heads to cruse in the first game (they held themselves back to just 5 goals) so they had enough to down UH, even with out Trapper!

They deserve the next weekend off , and await the return of Trapper to power them to victory in R2!

Double Header sunday, The Farts follow up form the mornings efforts!

Part two of this weekends double header played out at Maidstone Park against Upper Hutt.

Big thanks to Damon,BJ and Poland who were feeling up for a run with the Old Farts after the mornings game.
It was a subdued coin toss as Watkin was AWOL and left us without a goalkeeper, Nuts was fully expecting to have to default the game, but the umpires ruled we were allowed to start the game as he "was on the way".
We won the coin toss and Nuts opted to play with the sun to our backs.

The game plan was to stall for time until Watkin arrived, so we went on attack instead and Willie scored an early goal rattling the opposition.

They came back at us and Todd fell victim to the new rule and touched the ball in our circle to score an own goal. Todd made up for this later by slotting a PC.

Finally Watkins arrived and assumed his rightful position, suddenly we felt like we had a chance.
There was plenty of spirited attack and defense and we went to the sheds at half time 2 - 1 up.
By now Upper Hutt was dazed and confused but still determined to get a win, however the Old Farts had other ideas, with the team on attack there was some good passing allowing Issac to finish in a flourish and drill home a sweet goal.
Nuts was accused of an ugly tackle by an opposition defender where he retorted with "not as ugly as your mother".
Just on full time Upper Hutt managed to get a consolation goal to finish the game Old Farts 3 - Upper Hutt 2

Goal scorers

MVP went to Poland who worked hard for us and played well.
Special mention goes to Damon for his hard work in the midfield.
Add caption
The Farts doing their pregame warm up routines, would have been better if Nuts hadn't stood in the sun so that it reflected into the guys eyes!

Old Farts V Young Guns, the battle continues..........................

The well anticipated club clash between Naenae 3 (Old Farts) and Naenae 4 (new Young Guns) saw a 10 strong team of Old Farts up against the 15 strong Naenae 4 team. The scene was set early as the old farts did their usual warm up of smacking the ball into the net and talking about the week that was. Naenae 4 had a considerable warm up routine going on, we were a little worried to say the least.

As was the intensity of the grudge match no one from Naenae 4 wanted to help the Old Farts out, so we took to the field with 10 men. Old Farts wearing the alternate strip opened the scoring early, which spurred the opposition on to come back to score an equaliser off a PC.

The Farts soon fell into the rhythm of looking for searching passes through to the forwards and we found ourselves at the break 2-1 up or was it 3?

The second half saw a more determined Young Guns change tactics and play theirs attackers higher putting the Toddy/Nuts defence combo under pressure. Willie ran out of juice and retired to a defensive left half position, whilst Isaac, Dave L and Jason continued to work their magic up the front.

Finally the final whistle came with the Old Farts victorious 5 - 2.

Goal scorers:
Dave L 2
Issac 1
Willie 1
Jason 1

3 - Issac
2 - Jason
1- Willie (oranges)