Sunday, April 28, 2013

Old Farts in emphatic win over Indians

A depleted Farts team went out to battle old foes Indians at Elsdon today.

Missing Phil and Nuts in the backs, Willy filled in the back line with an injured calf. Dan opened the score icing up a loose ball just out from the posts.
Trapper came on to spell Moses, and straight away had a shot deflected just past the posts. Willy then went off and Trapper was promoted to the backs.
Farts went to half time 2-0 up, but could have had 5 or 6. The Indians goalie saving 3 great shots at goal.

The second half saw the Farts continue to grind down the opposition, and scoring 4 more bit again the score could have been into double figures.


3-Dan, great support in defense and attack, continues to grow in skill and confidence
2- Vince -same could be said for Vince, tireless worker
1-Moses - getting his touch and game fitness back, key in the forwards

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Monday, April 22, 2013

Farts under lights succeed again. - Another roving reporters notes on last nights game!

As the last vestige of fading light set over the western hills the Farts put their final preparations on their game plan.  After a lengthy 5 min warm up Craig called the team together to further bolster the already buzzing morale, it was clear the news that Trapper was not going to take the field generated much strong emotion. With the only sub at the start of the game being the injured Willy things looked a little bleak.  The Petone squad had already played a game earlier in the day and had the advantage of the additional warm up, watching the pre-game practice they had obviously brought the A-team for the Farts encounter.  The Red and Blue battle lines were drawn and play commenced as the umpire breached the now cooling night air with an ear piercing screech.
Almost immediately it was clear that the Farts were going to have their work cut out the Petone forwards forging ahead at an alarming rate but the Farts defence were ready our keen planning and strategy spun into action.  Phil deftly focussed the Petone attack towards Toddy who skilfully positioned himself to thwart the attack; with Phil on one side Toddy on the other the result is often predictable and at times scary for the forward.  With the ball firmly in our possession again, the team set about driving the attack back at the opposition.  With Craig directing traffic from the middle and Nuts constantly providing feedback the team quickly set about setting up the first goal, with the ball travelling at pace a great through ball from the halves saw Jason slot the first well-constructed goal.
Just when we thought all our extensive planning was going to bring the opposition to their knees they managed to slip a lucky ball through and with the referee’s eyes still not accustomed to failing light they scored, one a piece… Game on… The right saw plenty of balls getting through to Phil and lots of crosses from the wings but nothing finding the back of the net.  The game progressed at a frantic pace with some really good ‘open’ hockey from both teams. With things going to-and-fro, each team trying to find the upper hand the farts finally got a break with Gus turning up to support the bench as a sub. The first half was concluded with the score remaining at 1-1. 
The second half started much the same as the first now with Gus on the field and Nuts playing in the forwards, no one was really sure where in the forwards but he was up there... somewhere?, the confusion obviously helped with Nuts finding himself in the circle with the ball and taking the opportunity to score our second outstanding goal.  We progressed with some awesome hockey plenty of calling, mostly ‘since when was that square?’ or ‘is that really where top is? ‘.  We pretty much controlled the rest of the game and Phil finally got a great touch from a Nuts cross to score the final goal, the whistle securing the VICTORY for the Farts at 3-1.

Craig was solid as a rock in the middle, lots of intercepts and a good interface for feeding the ball between the back and the forwards

Farts continue winning way - down Petone 3-1

The rain stopped in time for the Old Farts clash against old foes Petone at Fraser Park.
Notably absent were Tapper and the two Daves, but Gus and Phil stepped up to help the team out, also A big welcome back to Alan.
The Old Farts got an early break and Jason slotted the first goal after a great long corner pass from Phil to Nuts, who drilled it at the goal, where everyone left it for Jason to slot nicely. Boom! farts up 1 nil.
There was a lot of mid field play where Craig held the mid field. Whilst Dan was playing like a man possessed doing lots of running.
By the time we hit the sheds at half time Petone had managed to equalise at 1-1.
After a rousing half time talk by Nuts we hit the field ready to put Petone away.
The second half saw plenty of mid field play again.
With the Old Farts on attack Nuts got hold of the ball in the circle and managed a flick past the keeper Boom! Boom! 2-1 to the Farts.
The third goal was set up by Nuts again.......
Nuts received another ball in the circle and tried a tricky push past the keeper, the angle was acute and pinged off the left hand post and behind the keeper where Phil was hovering to put the ball away for the third and final goal.
The Farts managed to keep Petone scoreless for the rest of the game.

Goals scorers
1 - Jason
1 - Nuts

MVP points
3- Dan
2 - Jason
1 - And Nuts for bringing the oranges.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Breaking news - Porter confesses under pressure from SIS over allegations of match fixing

Breaking news, The SIS has just announced that Craig Porter has admitted to scoring an own goal yesterday.

Craig has owned up, the day after the event that Karori didn't score the first goal yesterday, but that he calmly deflected it past the outstretched goalie.
Craig has been making noises about moving up into the forwards, something about not wanting to run so much etc etc, and it seems that he wanted to prove his worth yesterday by scoring (or maybe he'd been talking to Nuts about the benefits of scoring goals?)
Craig has been making noises about moving up into the forwards, something about not wanting to run so much etc etc, and it seems that he wanted to prove his worth yesterday by scoring (or maybe he'd been talking to Nuts about the benefits of scoring goals?)
Debs, maybe you should have a chat to jenny about the consequences!

God knows we are having enough problems trying to keep nuts in the backs let alone Craig lining up as well

However, this is an historic event as Craig probably goes down in the record books as the first scorer of an own goal in Naenae history - maybe the committee will remember this at prize giving time, isn't there a gumboot award?

Farts impressive in snatching late Draw.

The drought had broken and NHS was back in operation in time for the Farts first town game. A reasonable hour for a morning game, 10.00 hit off, which meant we could sleep in a bit or have a bit of extra time to recover from the night before.

However in true Farts tradition, 10 mins to go and we were short a couple of players and a goalie. Luckily trapper was carting around Rearends’ gear since his potential retirement, so a quick padding up saw the team take the field with Vince in goal. It must be said that the gear didn’t really fit him that well, it was a bit on the large size!

Craig and Watkin arrived just on hit off, so after about 10 mins Vince was subbed and I think he was quite relieved at that too!
Karori appeared to have a younger fitter team (this seems to be a constant theme to our games?), and showed some good skills, but the Farts played their typical open game, had a number of chances, and Moses opening the scoring.

Karori spent a lot of time keeping the Farts camped in our circle. Some questionable umpiring gave Karori 5 or 6 PC’s in a row but the Farts defence held them out with strong tackling and committed play.

Karori managed to equalise late in the first half, and when the guys went to the sheds Nuts gave a rousing speech, partly to encourage the team, partly to make up for the fact that he had failed to bring any “Jet planes” or “snakes” for the boys to recharge their energy levels.
The second half was more of the first, and the game started to get a bit more physical. Irene Van Dyke was heard to say that Karori were blatantly cheating, although when interviewed, Norma “I’ll chew your ear off” bulldog Plummer reckoned the Farts just needed to toughen up.
Trapper stepped up the mark in a tackle with a Karori player, taking a severe late shot to the body, which quickly turned into a bit of an “Argy Bargy” pushing match even though the umpire had blown it up.

Both players were called over, the umpire commenting on Trappers outstanding game, how much he’d trimmed down and how he appreciated the umpiring help trapper was giving, and awarded him a green triangle for “Good Sportsmanship” , while he showed his utter contempt and disgust at the Karori players blatant attempt at taking out the star Farts player by sending him to the sideline for a period of cooling down.

The Karori fitness started to show, and even after some stalwart defending, including Moses getting a lifted ball straight into his hand that was so hard it would have broken the thigh bone of an adult Bull elephant, Karori managed to sneak a ball under Watkin and dribble into the goal.
But the Farts never gave up, and the Karori umpire even awarded them a couple of PC’s, with one right on full time.

The Farts hours of PC practise and startegising came to the fore, Toddy came up to receive the ball, and Zac pulled it out to him. However in a quick thinking mode, Zac looked at Toddy but did a no look pass to Nuts (will that’s what he claimed) , and Nuts slammed it into the backboard for a 2-2 final score.

1 - Moses
1 – Nuts

3 – Zac, another outstanding effort, all over the park and showing strong improvement in tackling (getting the ball not the player) and some deft touches in beating opponents)
2- Dave R – continues to show commitment and effort in getting around the park
1-Moses – good opening goal, strong running and put his thumb on the line for the team

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Farts open 2013 with decisive win

Today marked the opening of the 2013 season, and a Farts team with an old trusted look opened their account with a decisive win against the team from Upper Hutt.

This year sees the return of Dave lewin, Dave Ryan and Phil Monrad, with this trio bring a wealth of experience and skills. added to the older heads was a new player Vince Goodman, bringing the running and energy of youth to the team.

Although the hadn't played for many years they all showed they still have the old touches, Dave lewin still took our breath away with his deft one handed dribbling skills and "one-touches", Phil was solid as ever in defence, and Dave Ryan was just everywhere and into everything.

The Farts opened the scoring with a couple of well hits shots rocketing into the backboards. A PC saw Toddy with a chance that sailed right of the goal. It then looked like willy was going to get his hat trick, but Vince chimed in with a good goal to have a relaxed Farts team 3-0 up when they went to the sheds.

They maintained the pressure in the second half, Jason putting away a ball that had traveled through via a few sticks to find him loitering around the off post.

Upper Hutt tried to rally, but Vince scored again to get his double, UH then managed to score a goal, but by then the game was literally over.

The team looked good for their first hit out, settling into a good flowing game with lots of open passing, and players trying to back up in defence (but some like Trapper often lagging behind!

2 - Willy
2 - Vince
1 - Jason


3- Dave R - great first game, showed commitment, energy and still has the skills, imagine what he'll be like when he gets match fit!
2- Zac - already into his usual everywhere style, with speed and great touches, even managed some passes!
1- Dan - quiet achiever, again a solid game on the left

2- Trapper Brought oranges and also umpired R1 game after ours.