Friday, April 29, 2011

The match up of the year, age V wisdom, fitness V flab, long hair V no hair.

Hi sports Fans,
Its the match up of the year, age V wisdom, fitness V flab, long hair V no hair.

Its this years annual revenge match of the Old Farts V the Young Guns, Sunday 2.15. The groundstaff have had meetings with the Farts management during the week and in try sporting tradition of fairness (just like the cricket world cup!) , have prepared the pitch to our exact specs, hard (but with a bit of flex), smooth and green with white lines.

After the past two years its 2 - 1 up to the Farts, although a birdie tells me that officially the Guns might be able to level that score this weekend (well officially anyway).

"Winner takes all" in that they definitely stay in R1, and this is likely to sway the result to the guns, although on the field as some recently said "their's no such thing as a friendly game between two Naenae sides"!

I think that its our turn to wear the "away" colours, which i think Chris and Allan are organising, Allan will also provide the Farts with a new match ball,

Robbie is bringing the oranges and the weather looks good.
So with "teamer" preparing the responses its all ready for a big show down.

One last point, i appear to have lfet the ice pack behind after the last game, second one we've lost in two successive seasons. Did anyone pick it up?

The club doesn't provide these, so if anyone has a spare let me know otherwise ill have to buy another one (comes out of my pocket money - ains is really stingy, only get $5 a week so won't have any money for Peanut slabs for nearly 2 months!)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Battle of the bighorn...revisited

Well, not quite, as the Old Farts (Custer) didn’t get annihilated by Indians 5 (the Indians) , as they certainly stood up and were counted.

In the cross over round of R1 Promotion/Relegation the farts matched up against Indians 5. Again it was another mismatch, as even with a few visiting players from the 4th team, the Farts pack averaged 30 to 40 KGs to 8 years and per player on Indians 5. However they quickly scored a couple of goals to open their accounts. In true British tradition the Farts defence manned up, and fought valiantly, with every man doing their duty (and Nuts as well). Rearend had plenty of practise with lots of Indians shots close enough for him to fend or bat away, and Nuts saved a rising shot off the line.

The Farts certainly gave out some of their own, with a number of runs and long through balls they applied some pressure of their own.

Half time saw the Farts 3-0 down, not a bad result given the pressure Indians 5 had applied.

The second half was a much more even affair, with more emphasis on marking (especially trapper on their CH) paid off. Although they still attacked the attacks broke down outside the circle and the backs were able to clear the ball. Adrian had seemed to run endlessly in the first half and continued this in the second, seeming to be everywhere.

A break down the right wing to the line saw the ball pulled back, a melee in the goal mouth saw a light shot at goal by Peter E, and in a shot Needles would have been proud of (because he did them all the time to “steal” goals) f Jolly slammed it the last 3 inches to claim the goal.

The game ended 5-1, although again the game was more even than the score line suggested.

A number of players are starting to hit their straps, Ash again had a couple of cameo appearances, even playing at CF and IR! A number of times he appealed to the umpires for a free hit on the basis that the opposition had simply jogged around him faster than he could move.


1 – Jolly


3 – Adrian – great effort, lots of running and tackling, energetic in defence (Halves) and attack (inner)

2- Craig - close second behind Adrian in effort, again energetic in his efforts and also organised the midfield

1 – Toddy – solid defensive game, especially around the circle edge on defence

1 – Rearend – Umpired 4th team game Sunday morning

1 – Willie – turned up, but more importantly brought the oranges!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Breaking Wind

Breaking wind, just received here at Reuters news, Old Farts post first win of the season.
While they may be struggling with the fitness and flexibility of the junior teams they are playing on the turf, off the turf they have snatched a win and their first trophy of the year.
Saturday night, at the Naenae clubrooms, the Old farts (well Trapper, Ains and friends - inc Google) came from behind to win the annual Naenae hockey club Quiz night.
Like they play on the turf, they started steady and maintained a constant pace, and though experience and wisdom played their joker in the music round to end full time level with "not for individual consumption". The sudden death tie breaker was won with trapper knowing the world ranking for the womens black sticks last year (not sure if Ains knew he watched the games, maybe he was just watching Charlotte Harrison).

CIMG8909.JPGAt the medal ceremony the Farts received their Gold medals, the first trophy of the season

Farts lose again but showing improvement

In their third early season game the Farts continued to show glimpses of last years form, all be it for a team that lost almost half of their team mates in the preseason.

Petone 1 came out firing, and scored three quick goals, which would have dropped the heads of an ordinary team, but the Farts struggled through it and started to apply their own pressure. The management team were continuing their early season conditioning program, and didn’t wnat to risk Ropes peaking too early so pulled him after 10 minutes. They had a number of chances in the first half with a couple of PC’s, the game see sawed and the boys went to the sheds 4 – 0 down.

A stern talking to at half time saw the Farts go out and apply more pressure, and the second half was certainly more even, the high stamina levels of the Farts starting to show over the “spash and Dash” petone youngsters.

More pressure was applied, with a good movement down the RH ending with Scotty flicking the ball back to Toddy just outside the circle, he drove it in for Adrian to find the back of the net. For a long time the Frats held the score at 1-1 (for the half).

Trapper showed his speed and new found trapping ability, flashing down the RH flank, rounding the Full back only to be taken out with a blatant hack with just the Goalie to beat. Despite his protests only a PC was awarded.

The Farts finsihed the game 6-1 down, but came off knowing they are improving, and looking forward to the real season to come.

Special mention must go to Rearend, another game to his normal qualities, some good saves and great play taking a petone attacker out! Would have got MVP but hey, he’s shy and doesn’t want the limelight too much.


1 – Adrian


3- Scotty Outstanding game for this early in the season, showed lots of energy and skill, and took command of the attacking half of the field
2 - Wicky - lots of running and hi work rate
1 - Adrian - scored again and another busy game
1 - Ash - Oranges - even if they were brown they were seedless
1 - Craig - umpired 4th team

Monday, April 4, 2011

Improved - Yes, Proud - Yes, Win - No

That was the headline in this morning Dom regarding the woeful Horricanes continuing Super XV season.  Im sure some of them wish the season was over.

However it just as easily applies to the Farts. Yesterday was game 2 in the promo/relegation round in R1, the Farts came up against YWCA 1. A team almost completely made up of 20 to 23 year olds, it was more like fathers versus sons game than R1. As a side issue, it always amazes me that we play mens teams from YWCA (Young Womens Christian Association! - go figure).

With some help from Al Hyndman, Rub and Damon, the Farts took the field with a couple of subs, and Dave P from the guns was umpire.

It has to be said that right from the start Youth had the advantage over age and wisdom, simply in the speed, fitness and agility stakes. But the Farts not only withstood the pressure, but applied some of there own with several forwards having shots at the goal and some promising runs in attack that couldn't quite get into the circle.

In defence Rearend was outstanding, even saving a stroke.  A strange decision where the umpire appeared to indicate a PC but the YW players prepared for a stroke, there seemed to be confusion but a stroke it was, and Rearend dived the right way to smother it.

A little later Ash went down in a heap after a lifted ball smacked him on the side of the knee. most of the team stood around, and wondered when the they would bring the big canvas shield onto the pitch and put him out of his misery, but Ains like the greyhound she is grabbed the ice pack and tore around the pitch to attend to ash.  Meanwhile Ash was in too much pain to move, but still managed to harangue the poor YW guy that hit him, enough to make him run from the field in tears.

The team weathered the rest of the first half and went to the sheds 3-0 down, not a bad effort considering.

The second half was more of the same, with some of the Farts starting to show the strains of early season hockey, Nuts had a run (will walk) at CF. The poor guy hasn't scored for three seasons so i think hes getting desperate, at least it looked that way when he wouldn't pass.

It has to be said the defence was outstanding, and Al Hyndman made a superb save parrying a lifted shot around the post just off the line.

The game ended 5-0, but the scoreline didn't really reflect the play of the Farts, certainly a game they can look back on, and if not quite proud , can at least hold their heads up .

3- Rearend  - superb game,m back to his best after an injury ridden last year
2 - Al "they can't see the whites of my eyes because i'm wearing sunglasses" Hyndman- good effort and superb defence, wins him the player of the day breakfast voucher
1 - Ains - sprinted round (well at Farts pace it was sprinting) to administer the ice to Ash when he was brought down by a rising ball.

No point for umpiring as both the last 2 weeks R3 team games were cancelled

Oranges - forgot these points last week
1 - Trapper  (last week)
1 - Rearend (this week)

Need a volunteer for oranges next week.

Also reminder - Craig P, umpiring the R3 team, Sunday 10th April 2:15 Fraser park.