Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Mothers Day Misadventure - Old Farts versus Harbour City 11/5/14

The day dawned sunny and bright on Mothers Day 2014. Unfortunately the same couldn't be said of the Farts in this match.

It seems that some team members had mistaken a 2:15 start for 2:30. Or perhaps their Mothers Day lunch was still in progress as the game commenced.

Nuts took on the centre half role with some alacrity and his midfield domination soon had the oppo cringing and whinging to such an extent they managed to score within the first 5 minutes.

Unfortunately this became 2-0 soon afterwards as the Axeman's single handed efforts to stem the continuous wave of Harbour City attack were thwarted by an extremely lucky deflection from Harbour City in front of the goal.

The team's resident umpire Rear End managed to injure himself on Friday night in mysterious circumstances. Rear End ended up handing the whistle to Trapper about mid way through the first half. Trapper's keen eye and control as an umpire was soon in evidence, to the extent that free hits were soon being taken within at least 15 metres of the original infringement.

The Old Farts new penalty corner variation know as 'pretend to miss trap the pull out' came close to paying dividends at least once with the Axeman deflecting it to Craig, to Vince who just missed converting (in rugby terms, it was over). This clever miss trap PC variation continued throughout the first half and the Farts were very unlucky to head into the shed 2-0 down.

By half-time the Axeman had decided he had to single handedly save this game and took over umpiring duties from Trapper.

The second half saw a fantastic effort from the Farts, aided by some superior umpiring. The Farts defended so well that they held Harbour City goal less. At the attacking end Craig somehow managed to trap the ball on a PC against all odds, and in direct contravention of the Farts 'give the oppo a laugh on our PC' approach. Craig laid the ball off to Vince, whose powerful and accurate shot totally destroyed the Harbour City goalie's confidence and smashed into the backboard. The Axeman's effort in awarding this goal was absolutely stunning in its professionalism and brought the crowd to its feet.

Monday, May 5, 2014

May the 4th be with you - Old Farts versus Upper Hutt

The fourth game of the season was on May the 4th (be with you). This was an important game for the Old Farts, a loss would result in having to play off for relegation.

Carlos was obviously concerned about the vigorous warm up routine being exhibited by the oppo and consequently borrowed some girly's shin pads.

The heat was wicked and the oppo was young, fit and fast - a deadly combination. Soon some of the team had started to breathe like Darth Vader. Fortunately the WAGS medical corps were on hand to dish out asthma inhalers to those in need.

The opening score was by the the Farts, resulting from a piece of individual brilliance by Jason who made a break down the left and flicked the ball over the Upper Hutt Keeper. Jason was heard to remark just before scoring 'this is Red 44 I'm going in...'

The half time talk included inspiring comments such as 'bloody hell it's hot', 'why are these oranges real?' and 'why are there no Star Wars quotes that fit this situation?'.

Rejuvenated by the half-time oranges (literally Pope Stan - really?), the Farts had soon managed to allow Upper Hutt to level at 1-1.

However, despite the unrelenting heat, youthful opposition and lack of possession, Willie pounced on one of the few 2nd half opportunities from a well planned PC.

This PC variation is one out of the box. Moses pushed the ball out tantalisingly slowly so the oppo thought 'ha this will be easy'. Jason got to the near stationery ball inside the circle and deftly passed it back to the Axeman outside the circle. From here it went to Vince who carefully aimed the ball onto the keeper's pads at such an angle that it fell to Willie who finished this planned move off in style.

The Farts managed to hold Upper Hutt out for the last 10 minutes and avoid the possibility of being relegated.