Breaking Wind - Old Farts in Match fixing allegations?

News reports coming to hand from accross global sources are today advising that there is an investigation underway by the “ Fixing And Result Tampering” (F.A.R.T) group into allegations of match fixing in yesterdays battle for R1 promotion.

There are unsubstantiated rumours that the Farts Goalie, Rearend , was seen discussing the upcoming match later last week with a Local High Profile Indian Business man, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, from the local Kwik-E-Mart. Rearend supposedly left the Kwik-E-Mart with a brown paper bag containing a large number of peanut slabs, which he supposedly shared with other key team members as a reward for throwing the match. Shortly before last night’s game a large bet was placed on Indians 6, and up until that time they had been rank outsiders at 250-1. The game ended in a 4-2 win to Indians, and the Old Farts were relegated to R2.

These allegations have rocked the Hockey and international sporting world, on a scale not seen since the 1999, 2003, 2007 and 2011 cricket world cups.

Officials have acted quickly and appointed an international team to investigate these allegations. The team is headed up by the Official Liaison Director Fixing And Result Tampering (O.L.D.F.A.R.T ), deputy chair is the “World Hockey Organisation Fixing And Result Tampering” Executive Director (W.H.O.F.A.R.T.Ed) and includes members of the British Investigation Group Fixing And Result Tampering Section (B.I.G.F.A.R.T.S)

The investigation is ongoing, but the team is struggling to obtain any proof as the evidence appears to have dissipated somewhat as time has gone on.