News Flash - Star Farts Striker injured in suspected Terrorist attack

Newsflash - Monday 17th May

Today the Old Farts Star striker - Moses - was terribly maimed in what is a suspected terrorist attack by rival hockey clubs.  

Moses had been riding slowly and carefully up the Hayward's hill when he came across a swath of diesel that appears to have been deliberately placed in his path to catch him.

Police have no clues except that a man in a white robe with a tea towel on his head, accompanied by a very attractive women dressed completely in black were sighted leaving the scene, both were carrying hockey sticks.

To understand the terrible impact of this incident , this reporter managed to get an interview with the victim, in between him lapsing in and out of consciousness

"I’m out of action for about 6-7 weeks with a dislocated collar bone, after taking flying lessons on Monday evening (specifically, skidding out on a patch of diesel on my bike going up Hayward’s Hill).

You’d be surprised how much fun it is, watching the world/sky go past at 90kph, whilst sliding on your back.  Fortunately, I missed the median barrier (aka cheesecutters), actually running parallel to them at arm’s length distance for about 60-70 metres…uphill.  Weeeeeeeeeee.

I even managed to do a backward roll to an upright position, as friction caught up me at the end of the slide, earning 5.9’s all around from those who witnessed it (but I think the Aussie judge marked me down to 5.7, so no surprises there I guess).

Aside from aforementioned collarbone, there wasn’t a scratch on me (nor did I need to change my underpants).  My m/c kit, however, is totally munted – as is the bike…not to mention my ego, which is in tatters."